arrives at Elas in the Tellun star system, on the Klingon/Federation border. They have already picked up Ambassador Petri from Troyius, Elas’ neighboring planet in the system and are now to pick up passengers from Elas. As they head down to the transporter room, Spock and McCoy discuss the Elasians: the men are vicious and brutal, and the women are rumored to have the ability to drive men insane with lust. Petri is waiting and informs them that the Dohlman, his people’s greatest enemy, will be beaming aboard. The Dohlman’s security team beam up first and secure the transporter room, considering Petri a particular threat. Kirk assures them the ship is secure and they then beam up the Dohlman: Elaan, a beautiful woman. First the security team and Petri, and then finally Kirk and the other crew kneel before her.
Do honor to the Dohlman of Elas.
Glory to Elaan,
Dohlman of Elas.
Elaan immediately starts insulting Petri and demanding “appropriate” treatment as befits her position. Kirk is less then impressed and has Spock take her to her temporary quarters (borrowed from Uhura). Kirk finally finds out what the mission is from Petri: Elaan and the ruler of Troyius are to be wed to assure peace between the two planets, and Petri is there to teach her manners. He asks them to proceed at sublight so he has enough time to make her suitable for her wedding, and notes that if the mission fails then Starfleet won’t be thrilled with the captain. Kirk agrees and Petri further asks him to make sure the Dohlman be shown appropriate respect at all times no matter how obnoxious she is.
To gain peace at the price of accepting such a queen is no victory.
Petri tries to present wedding gifts to Elaan, but she rejects them and complains about the quarters. Elaan rejects the gifts and when Kirk responds, he curtly informs her there’s nothing better on the ship and she’ll just have to put up with it. She reveals that the Elas council has forced her into the wedding against her wishes. Outside Kirk tries to calm down an equally furious Petri and suggests he approach her from a position of strength.
I did not give you permission to leave!
I didn't ask for any.
Spock has detected a sensor anomaly but is unable to identify what it is. When Elaan and her security team go to Engineering, Kirk is forced to intervene once again when she insults Scotty. The sensor anomaly resolves as a Klingon warship following them on a parallel course. Kirk is summoned to the Dohlman’s quarters to discover that she has stabbed Petri in the back.
Kryton, remove that Troyian pig.
McCoy manages to patch Petri up but the ambassador refuses to leave until he is fully healed: someone else will have to deal with Elaan. Uhura delivers a top-security message to Kirk revealing that the Federation High Commissioner will be coming to the wedding, making the whole thing of critical importance. Meanwhile, Petri explains to Nurse Chapel that Elasian women manage to attract mates despite their violent tempers because their tears are reputed to act like a love potion.
There will be no wedding. I would not have our ruler marry that monster if the entire galaxy depended on it, and I will have nothing further to do with you.
Kirk goes to tell Elaan the news and that she will have a new teacher in etiquette: himself. He starts with table manners but it doesn’t go well. She slaps him and he promptly slaps her back. When she throws a knife at him, he calmly leaves and informs her the next lesson will be in courtesy.
what can you teach me?
Table manners, for one thing.
This is a plate.
It contains food.
This is a knife.
It cuts the food.
- This is a glass.
Elaan’s security chief, Kryton, sneaks into Engineering and kills a technician. He then sabotages the anti-matter pods. Meanwhile, Kirk goes to Elaan’s quarters once more. When the guards refuse him entrance and try to attack him, he has Spock stun them and then goes inside. When he insists on trying to teach her manners, she at first refuses and then breaks into tears, insisting she only wants people to like her. When Kirk brushes away her tears, he becomes dazed and then enraptured, and ends up kissing her. However, they’re interrupted when Spock and Uhura determine that Kryton is sending a message and notify the captain. They go to Engineering but Kryton disintegrates himself with a stolen phaser rather than reveal who he was working for. Kirk has Scotty make a complete check to determine what Kryton was going.
Mr. Spock, the women on your planet are logical. That is the only planet in this galaxy that can make that claim.
The captain updates Elaan on the situation, and she figures Kryton betrayed them to the Klingons since he was her original fiancé. She’s more interested in knowing what Kirk plans to do next, and suggests he destroy Troyius and become ruler of the system with her. Kirk tries to resist her suggestions and they’re interrupted when Spock and McCoy arrive to tell him that they’ve confirmed an Elasian woman’s tears have a biochemical substance that cause males to fall permanently in love with them. However, the Klingons begin an attack run at warp speed and Kirk heads to the bridge. He prepares to order the Enterprise
to warp to match, but Scotty calls up just in time to warn that the dilithium crystals have been sabotaged and if they go to warp, they’ll blow up. The Klingon ship flies past without firing, having attempted to bluff the Enterprise
into going to warp and destroying itself.
Jim, Petri told Christine the Elasian women have a biochemical substance in their tears that acts like a super love potion. According to him, it doesn't wear off.
Elaan comes to the bridge and Kirk over-protectively takes her to Sickbay. The dilithium crystals are fused and they have no replacements, and are unable to fight back without warp drive. McCoy is working on a cure when Elaan arrives, and Petri pleads with her to accept her husband-to-be’s wedding gifts, including a necklace of good-luck stones. A subdued Elaan agrees as she deals with her own feelings for Kirk.
We can wallow like a garbage scow against a warp-driven star ship. Our shields will hold for a few passes, but without the matter-anti-matter reactor, we’ve no chance.
Kirk tries to bluff the Klingons since he’s unable to signal Starfleet for help without giving away their weakness. The Klingons insist on their immediate surrender and begin firing when it’s not forthcoming. Elaan returns to the bridge while the Klingons hammer away at the shields. Spock notices odd energy readings and traces them to Elaan and her necklace. They are dilithium crystals, which she describes as common stones in the system. Now that they know what the Klingons want, Spock and Scotty take the stones and use them in the anti-matter/matter pod. The energy flow is erratic but they have enough power to drive the Klingons off. Elaan doesn’t understand why Kirk refuses to move in for the kill.
May I request your terms for surrender?
No terms. Surrender must be unconditional and immediate.
Later in orbit about Troyius, Kirk escorts Elaan to the transporter room. She gives him her knife as a memento, saying she has learned she no longer needs it. She asks that he remember her and he notes that he has no choice. She goes to do her duty and Kirk returns to the bridge to does his. McCoy has come up with an antidote, but Spock assures him it isn’t necessary: Kirk’s love for the ship has overcome Elaan’s spell.
Well, I doubt seriously
if there's any kind of an antidote for the Enterprise.
In this particular instance, Doctor,
I agree with you.
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