Matt: One of the things this show does is decide what's cool, and I've just decided it's no longer cool for grown men to dress as if they're in junior high school.
Reporter: Jordan, can you describe the reaction of NBS executives Friday night when Wes described the network as "a candy-assed network" and "a greed-filled whorehouse of a network"?
Jordan: Pleased and proud, as you can imagine. (audience laughs) Until we realized he wasn't talking about FOX, he was talking about us.
Veronica: Jordan, did you know about this when you hired him?
Jordan: I can't remember. I was high at the time.
Reporter: What is the division between the work?
Danny: Matt will do the work, I will take the credit.
Harriet: I got a laugh at the table read when I asked for the butter in the dinner sketch. I didn't get it at the dress. What did I do wrong?
Matt: You asked for the laugh.
Harriet: What did I do at the table read?
Matt: You asked for the butter.
Harriet: I want my body to look like yours.
Jeannie: I want my talent to look like yours.
Harriet: My mom used to say, "if Jesus is your copilot, you should trade seats".
Jordan: (on stage) They are irreverent, they are brilliant. They will make us laugh, they will make think, they will make us talk and they will make us proud.
Danny: Easy does it, lady.
Jordan: (on stage) They will return Studio 60 to its former glory as the flagship program of NBS And NBS will return to its former place as America's greatest broadcast network. And if you don't believe me, tune in Friday night at 11:30.
Matt: By the way, this latest career move of ours?
Danny: Pretty stupid?
Jordan: (on stage) ...friends of mine, and old friends to the network, Matthew Albie and Danny Tripp.
(Matt and Danny step out onto the stage.)
Danny: (leaning over to whisper in Jordan's ear) Stick around okay? When we're done I need to choke you to death.
Jordan: You bet.
Danny: How's it going?
Matt: Good. Can the White Stripes play for an hour and a half?
Jack: (to Jordan)
You know what, Mary? You've got spunk. I hate spunk.
Jack is quoting a classic line from The Mary Tyler Moore Show
spoken by Lou Grant. Lou Grant was played by Ed Anser, who guest starred in the "Pilot
"We'll be the Very Model of a Modern Network TV Show"
"We'll be the Very Model of a Modern Network TV Show", the song sung near the end of the show, is a reference to the Gilbert and Sullivan song "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General".
I'd rather sit in Lorne Michaels' office.
Lorne Michaels is a producer for the NBC sketch show Saturday Night Live
Matt: You know who did the best frat humor of all time?
Tom: Rudy Vallee.
Cal: Groucho Marx.
Danny: It was W. S. Gilbert.
Rudy Vallee is a singer and movie star popular in the 1930s and 1940s. Groucho Marx is a comedian known for his slap-stick humor and being part of the Marx Brothers. W. S. Gilbert is a writer who wrote several satirical operettas including H.M.S. Pinafore and The Pirates of Penzance.
Matt: I'm not Blackwell or anything, but holy cow, what the hell are you guys wearing?
Richard Blackwell is popular critic noted for his yearly "ten worst dressed women" awards.
Jack: Jordan, I'm not sure that following Danny's rigorous honesty with a joke about being high was the way William Paley would've handled it.
William Paley was a CBS executive who helped build CBS from a small radio network to a leading television network.
The man wrote for the Smothers Brothers. He wrote with Pryor, and he wrote with Cosby.
The Smothers Brothers are a music and comedy duo of brothers Tom and Dick Smothers known for their folk song routines. Richard Pryor is a stand-up comedian regarded as one of the most influential comedians of his time. Bill Cosby is a stand-up comedian who starred in several comedy TV series including The Bill Cosby Show
, Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids
, and Cosby