Sam: You think the world wants to end?
Dean: I think that if we didn't take its belt and all its pens away each year that, yeah, the whole enchilada would have offed itself, already.

Ranger Rick: Tell you this, though, you got to respect Mother Nature. You respect her, or she'll string you up and eat your ass right through the Gore-Tex.
Dean: So you're thinking it's Mother Nature?

Brandon: Hey, uh, douchewad, a hostess will seat you. Do I look like a freaking hostess?!?
Dean: Do you want to look like a hostess?
Sam: That didn’t really make sense, what you... said.

(serving Sam, Dean, and Bobby)
Brandon: Sidewinder soup and salad combo goes to Big Bird. TDK Slammer to Ken Doll. And a little heart-smart for creepy uncle.

Bobby Singer: Never could get you little grubs to pull a trigger on a single deer.
Dean: You're talking about Bambi, man.
Bobby Singer: You don't shoot Bambi, jackass. You shoot Bambi's mother.

Dean: I think you pissed off my sandwich.

Sam: Okay, so whatever turned Gerry Browder into a pumpkin head... and is currently turning Dean into an idiot...
Dean: I'm right here. Right here.

Dean: Bobby, I'm here, okay? I'm on the case. What's the problem?
Bobby Singer: I've seen a lot of hunters live and die. You're starting to talk like one of the dead ones, Dean.
Dean: No, I'm talking the way a person talks when they've had it, when they can't figure out why they used to think all this mattered.
Bobby Singer: Oh, you poor, sorry... you're not a person.
Dean: Thanks.
Bobby Singer: Come on, now. You tried to hang it up and be a person with Lisa and Ben. And now here you are with a mean old coot and a van full of guns. That ain't person behavior, son. You're a hunter, meaning you're whatever the job you're doing today. Now, you get a case of the Anne Sextons, something's gonna come up behind ya and rip your fool head off. Now, you find your reasons to get to get back in the game. I don't care if it's love or spite or a $10 bet. I've been to enough funerals. I mean it. You die before me, and I'll kill ya.
Dean: We need to scrape some money together, get you a condo or something.

Dean: Now it's all making sense. Remember when Crowley kept going on about hating Dick? I thought he was just being general.

Title: How To Win Friends And Influence Monsters

The title is a play on the title of the self-help book How To Win Friends And Influence People, written by Dale Carnegie.

Sam: Well, Motel 6 just ain’t leavin’ the light on anymore.

"We'll leave the lights on for you," is the slogan of the U.S. motel chain Motel 6.

Dean: The sketch looks more like a Chewbacca head.

Chewbacca is the first mate of the Millennium Falcon in the Star Wars movies, and a large fur-covered alien who speaks in growls and roars.

Dean: Enjoy your lunch... Ranger Rick.

Ranger Rick is a raccoon in Ranger Rick Magazine, that goes on adventures designed to promote interest in nature and environmentalism.

Brandon: Sidewinder soup and salad combo goes to Big Bird.

Big Bird is a large yellow bird on the children's PBS show [i]Sesame Street[/i].

Brandon: TDK Slammer to Ken Doll.

Ken is the male companion to the Barbie doll from the Mattel toy line.

Dean: Talking about Bambi, man.

Bambi is the deer in the 1942 Disney film of the same name.

Dean: All right, well, let's check its Hulk pants for some ID.

The Incredible Hulk is a gigantic green-skinned anti-hero with Marvel Comics, an appears when scientist Bruce Banner becomes angry. For Comic Codes reasons, his pants never rip apart when he transforms.

Bobby Singer: I'm no Dr. Oz, but I think that's his adrenal glands.

Dr. Mehmet Cengiz Oz is a real-life doctor and host of a medical issues program, The Dr. Oz Show.

Bobby Singer: The two of you--aren’t you fed up playing Snuffleupagus with the Devil all the live long?

Mr. Snuffleupagus is an elephant-like creature on Sesame Street, who only Big Bird realized existed for many years.

Dick Roman: You're like a planet of just the cutest little engines that could.

"The Little Engine That Could" is a 1906 story that has seen many versions, and has a little train that chants "I think I can, I think I can" while climbing up a mountain track.