Criss Angel Is a Douchebag - Recap

In Iowa, Sioux City is holding its annual Magic Week. The Incredible Jay, an older magician, is trying to impress a waitress in a bar by doing card tricks. Another magician, Patrick Vance, is heckling him and ruining the trick despite his assistant's admonishments to stop. A depressed Jay leaves and goes to the theater where he and his friends Vernon and Charlie watch a hip new magician, Jeb Dexter. None of them are impressed but Jay admits that Jeb is the type of magician that's promised and their breed is dying out. He decides to do the Table of Death illusion. Vernon and Charlie warn against it, but Jay insists that he'll do it or die trying. That night, he performs the illusion with Charlie's help. He's fastened beneath a spiked ceiling that's held up by a rope. Charlie ignites the rope and draws a curtain. The seconds count down and the spikes drop... and Jay emerge from behind the curtain, unscathed, to thunderous applause.

Outside, Vance is walking out of a bar when he falls over and dies... his chest punctured ten times over.

Dean and Sam arrive to investigate and watch Jeb performing a card trick while claiming that demons have possessed him. Dean doesn't like magic, arguing they deal with enough real magic to see people turning it into a game. Sam, who did magic when he was a teenager, is a little more sympathetic. They find Vance's assistant and ask if Vance had any enemies. She admits Vance stole material from his fellow magicians. When they ask if she found anything unusual in his belongings, she shows them a tarot card, the Ten of Swords, that she found in his cape. It features a man impaled by swords. She's sure that Vance didn't own Tarot cards.

Charlie visits Jay to ask how he performed the table of Death. Jay can now do incredible card tricks and says that he wants to do the Executioner illusion. He insists it was skill, not luck, that let him escape the Table of Death. Charlie warns against it but when Jay ignores him, he refuses to watch. Jay says that he'll be there for him, the same as he always has, and Charlie changes his mind.

Jeb interviews Jay for his TV program and forgets his name. Dean, claiming to be a police detective, talks to Charlie and Vernon, who claim ignorance of the Tarot card. They say he should talk to a man, Chief, who runs a shop on Bleeker and had a grudge against Vance. Dean arrives there only to discover it's an S&M club and Chief thinks he's a customer.

Sam is at his hotel room researching the murder when Ruby arrives. She tells him that 34 of the Seals have been opened and the good guys are losing. She wants to know why he's delaying with penny-ante murders when he's the only one with the power to strike at the top and kill Lilith. Sam doesn't want to use his powers but Ruby insists he likes the rush. He denies it and she leaves, saying to contact her when he's ready.

Vernon talks to Charlie, asking why he didn't talk Jay out of performing the deadly illusion. Charlie insists that Jay has his old spark back. Dean and Sam confront them and Charlie admits they sent him to the wrong place and knew he was a fake. Sam and Dean hastily claim to be magicians trying to learn some new tricks. Jay's show starts and he performs the Executioner. He's fastened into a straitjacket and a noose put around his neck. He has one minute before a platform opens below him, causing him to strangle. As Jay struggles to free himself, Jeb is practicing poses in his room. A hangman's noose animates on its own, slides over the ceiling fan, and drops around his neck. As he dies, Jay escapes just in time. Sam, witnessing the entire thing, is sure the escape was impossible.

Sam and Dean go over Jay's career and figure he's using black magic to make a comeback. Sam wonders if they'll still be fighting the supernatural when they're old, but Dean figures they'll be dead long before then. When Sam wonders if there could ever be a way for them to win, Dean wonders if he's keeping secrets again but Sam denies it.

The brothers learn that Jeb is dead, an apparent suicide, but Dean finds a Tarot card of the Hanged Man on the corpse. They figure Jay is using black magic and has to slip the appropriate Tarot card onto the victim. They break into Jay's room and hold him at gunpoint, but he insists there's no such thing as real magic and he doesn't know anything about the two deaths. When he doesn't unleash black magic on them, they figure he's telling the truth but tie him up. When they turn their backs for a moment, he slips out of the ropes and disappears. They run down to the lobby to catch him and he slips out of the closet and calls the police, who arrest the brothers.

Jay meets with Charlie and tells him what the brothers said. He admits that even he doesn't know how he escaped and considers backing out of his next performance. Charlie insists that Jay should perform, now that he has fame and respect. Jay tells him that he planned to kill himself performing the Table of Death because he had nothing left to live for, and he somehow escaped without even trying. Charlie says that it doesn't matter as long as Jay is in the limelight again. Jay agrees to go onstage and Charlie straps him to the Table of Death then walks past Vernon, scowling. Jay completes the escape again, but this time Charlie is dead, punctured repeatedly.

Jay drops the charges and gets the Winchesters released from jail. He's determined to find out who killed Charlie, his oldest and best friend. Sam and Dean figure that whoever is committing the murders is Jay's friend, which means only Vernon is left. Jay doesn't believe it, but Dean warns that using magic is addictive and can change people. Jay agrees to call Vernon down to the theater while Sam and Dean search his room for the Tarot cards. Jay confronts Vernon, who denies killing Charlie. As they talk, a man steps on stage: a now-youthful Charlie.

Sam and Dean don't find the Tarot cards, but Dean finds a poster of a much younger Charlie performing magic.

Charlie explains that he's been alive for over a century and toured with P.T. Barnum. It was then that he received a book of spells, including one that gives immortality. Now he wants to start again, this time with his friends at his side. Charlie shows them the Tarot cards and Vernon appears to consider it, but Jay refuses to be used or be a part of murder. Sam and Dean arrive with guns but Charlie conjures a noose to suspend Dean off the stage by his neck. Sam shoots him but Charlie catches the bullet with his teeth. He brushes past Jay and then teleports to the side and Sam orders him to surrender. Charlie appears to consider it and Sam swings at him only to discover it's an illusion. Charlie appears behind him and shoves him onto the Table of Death. The restraints fasten by themselves and the rope starts to burn through. Charlie looks on but his stomach suddenly bleeds. He looks up to see Jay, who has stabbed himself in the stomach while holding the Tarot cards he pockpocketed from Charlie. He's unharmed, because he left one card on Charlie: The Magician. Charlie falls down, dead, and Sam and Dean are released.

Later, Dean and Sam visit Jay in the bar. He's unable to do even simple card tricks any more, and depressed over the death of his oldest friend. Vernon has abandoned him for killing Charlie, and now Jay is alone and talentless. He ignores the waitress when she offers him his playing cards back and walks off. Dean decides to have a beer but Sam says he's going for a walk. Outside, he finds Ruby in a car waiting for him. As he gets in, she asked why he changed his mind. And he says he wants it to be over once and for all.


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