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That '70s Show

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  Episode Information  
Title: I'm A Boy
Episode Number: 136
Season: 6
Season Episode #.: 8
Production Number: 608
Original Airdate: Wednesday January 07th, 2004
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Episode Crew
Director: David Trainer
Writer: Kristin Newman
  Episode Summary  
Eric starts to sleep all day and let Kitty baby him. To Red's dismay Fez drives him to his doctor's appt.
 
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  Guest Stars  
Guest Stars
Jim GaffiganplayedRoyRecurring (5th appearance)
Shannon ElizabethplayedBrookeRecurring (4th appearance)
  Episode Quotes  
Red: OK, let's get a couple of things straight: I don't want to be here, you don't want to be here.
Fez: I want to be here.
Red: Fine. I don't want to be here and I don't care what you want.
Fez: Okay, then. Are you buckled up?
Red: Yes.
Fez: Hmm, because the little blinking man on the dash board says you aren't. Buckled up.
Red: No.
Fez: Yes.
Red: NO. Look, start this car or I'm gonna pack you in a crate, take you down to the port and trade you for a year supply of bananas!


 
Eric: You know what I have right in the palm of my hand?
Steven: No one wants to know that just wash up.
Eric: The Secret of Life. You know what? I'm taking this one step further, fellas. I'm gonna get fat. Yeah. I'll never be srong, but I think I can be fat.
Steven: That's a pretty thought.
(Steven imagines Eric as a fatboy and Donna rubs his stomach)
Steven: Come on, Fez. Don't be scared. Come say 'hi'.
(Fat Eric waves 'hi' to Fez and Steven)
Fez: No, he's too fat. (whispers) I don't know where his face is.
Steven: He can't eat you, he can't even move. Watch.
(Steven throws his bat at Eric's fat stomach)
Eric: (laughs) That tickles. Ow, something's poking me.
(Steven pulls a doll out of Eric's left side)
Eric: G.I. Joe. There you are.
Steven: Wonder what else is in there. (Pulls a body out inside Eric's bedsheet)
Fez, Steven, Donna: Kelso!
Fez: I thought you moved away.
Michael: I've been living on crumbs!
(Fantasy ends)
Eric: Alright. Okay, laugh all you want but all I see is a guy who doesn't have to go to bed to go to the bathroom... and that's beautiful.
 
Fez: What's past yelling?
Steven: It's the dark side of the moon, my friend. It's a place so ugly if it was a woman, even you wouldn't have sex with her.
Fez: (whispers) That's bad.
 
(Hours passed after Red sees his buddies at the Cofee Shop)
Red: Okay, let's head for home.
(Fez gets even with Red after taking so long)
Red: So, now you're not gonna talk.
Fez: Why should I talk? My feelings are obviously of no consequence to you.
Red: Alright. Maybe, I stayed a little longer than I expected. Hey, look. How 'bout we stop for some pie?
Fez: No.
Red: Oh, come on. Let me get you a pie.
Fez: I am not in the mood.
Red: Oh, just let me buy you...
Fez: THERE WILL BE NO PIE!
 
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