Jon Stewart: Ladies... Gentlemen.... Felicity.
Robert Altman: I always thought this kind of award meant it was over. But it's not.
Jon Stewart: Martin Scorsesen - 0 Oscars. Three 6 Mafia - 1 Oscar.
George Clooney's Oscar acceptance speech: Wow. Wow. All right, so I'm not winning director. It's the funny thing about winning an Academy Award, it will always be synonymous with your name from here on in. It will be Oscar winner, George Clooney. Sexiest Man Alive, 1997. Batman, died today in a freak accident at a -- Listen, I don't quite know how you compare art. You look at these performances this year, of these actors and unless we all did the same role, everybody put on a bat suit, and we'll all try that. Unless we all did the same role, I don't know how you compare it. They are stellar performances and wonderful work, and I'm honored, truly honored to be up here. And finally, I would say that, you know, we are a little bit out of touch in Hollywood every once in a while. I think it's probably a good thing. We're the ones who talk about AIDS when it was just being whispered, and we talked about civil rights when it wasn't really popular. And we, you know, we bring up subjects. This Academy, this group of people gave Hattie McDaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the backs of theaters. I'm proud to be a part of this Academy. Proud to be part of this community, and proud to be out of touch. And I thank you so much for this.
Rachel Weisz's Oscar acceptance speech: Thank you so much to the Academy for this tremendous, tremendous honor. I share it with others, Ralph Fiennes my luminous acting partner. Fernando Meirelles our director who is brimming over with such humanity and our dignified sensitive producer, Simon Channing Williams, and of course, John le Carre, who wrote this unflinching, angry story. And he really paid tribute to the people who are willing to risk their own lives to fight injustice. And they're greater men and women than I. But thank you, thank you so much. Thank you.
Reese Witherspoon's Oscar acceptance speech: Oh, my goodness. I never thought I'd be here my whole life growing up in Tennessee. I want to say Johnny Cash and June Carter had a wonderful tradition of honoring other artists and musicians and singers, and I really feel that tradition tonight. It is very important, and I really feel it. So I want to thank the Academy for this incredible honor. I want to say thank you to so many people who helped me create this role. Everyone at Fox, Cathy Konrad, James Keach, for producing the film. A very special thank you to Jim Mangold who directed the film and also wrote this character. Who is a real woman. Who has dignity and honor, and fear, and courage, and she's a real woman. And I really appreciate that. It was an incredible gift that you gave me. So thank you. And T-Bone Burnett for helping me realize my lifelong dream of being a country music singer. Thank you T-Bone. And I want to say thank you to Joaquin Phoenix who just put his heart and soul into this performance. His commitment and passion for this character and for this performance was just remarkable, and I feel so lucky to have gone on this journey with you.
I am so blessed to have my family here tonight. My mother and my father are here. And I just want to say thank you so much for everything, for being so proud of me. It didn't matter if I was making my bed or making a movie. They never hesitated to say how proud they were of me. And that means so very much to a child. So thank you, Mom and Dad. I want to say thank you to my wonderful husband and my two children who should be going to bed. And thank you for loving me so much and supporting me. And I want to say that, my grandmother was one of the biggest inspirations in my life. She taught me how to be a real woman to have strength and self respect, and to never give those things away. And those are a lot of qualities I saw in June Carter. People used to ask June how she was doing, and she used to say -- "I'm just trying to matter." And I know what she means. You know, I'm just trying to matter, and live a good life and make work that means something to somebody. And you have all made me feel that I might have accomplished that tonight. So thank you so much for this honor.
Philip Seymour Hoffman's Oscar acceptance speech: Wow, I'm in a category with some great, great, great actors. Fantastic actors, and I'm overwhelmed. I'm really overwhelmed. I'd like to thank Bill Vince and Caroline Baron. And Danny Rosett, the film wouldn't have happened without them. I'd like to thank Sarah Fargo, I'd like to thank Sara Murphy. I'd like to thank Emily Ziff, my friends, my friends, my friends. I'd like to thank Bennett Miller, and Danny Futterman, who I love, I love, I love, I love. You know, the Van Morrison song, I love, I love, I love, and he keeps repeating it like that. And I'd like to thank Tom Bernard, and Michael Barker. Thank you so much. And my mom's name is Marilyn O'Connor, and she's here tonight. And I'd like if you see her tonight to congratulate her. Because she brought up four kids alone, and she deserves a congratulations for that. Oh, I'm at the party, mom, you know? And she took me to my first play, and she stayed up with me and watched the NCAA final four. And my passions, her passions became my passions. And, you know, be proud, mom, because I'm proud of you, and we're here tonight, and it's so good. Thank you.