Gomez: My new carving knife.
Wednesday: Nice knife. Can I play Autopsy with it?
Gomez: Well, darling, Autopsy's a fine game. But this is for carving works of art. (tests the knife on his hair) Either I've got tough hair or this knife needs sharpening.
Fester: Hurry up, Gomez.
Gomez: You getting tired, Uncle Fester?
Fester: No, I like to pose. It's so artistic.
Gomez: Good. I want to get the inner you.
Fester: Not with that.
Gomez: That's just for carving.
Fester: That's what I'm afraid of.
Gomez: Not for carving you, for carving your likeness.
Morticia: I do think our guests are charming, don't you?
Gomez: Yes, especially the one with the scar.
Morticia: Reminds me of Rupert Stix.
Morticia: Has the same beautiful beady eyes.
Gomez: I thought we had agreed, Morticia, never to mention the name of Rupert Stix again.
Morticia: Gomez, darling, you're not still jealous?
Gomez: You were engaged to him.
Morticia: Oh, well I was just a silly young girl then. I was fascinated by his long fingernails and the way his lip curled when he smiled.
Gomez: He was a handsome devil.
Gomez: "It was Halloween evening and through the abode, not a creature was stirring, not even a toad. Jack o'lanterns are hung on the gallows with care."
Morticia: "To guide sister witch as she flies through the air."
Gomez: Drawn by eight beautiful bats. "And she calls out to them."
Morticia: "Come Flitter, come Flutter, come Flapper and Flyer."
Fester: "Come Chitter, come Chatter, come Vicious Vampire!" Oh, excuse me.
Gomez: We call it Bobbing for the Crab. A real challenge.
Marty: Yeah, but that crab's alive!
Fester: And full of snap, too.
Morticia: That's the challenge.
Morticia: Isn't that absolutely amazing? Would you like to try it again?
Marty: Try it again? I'd rather wrestle a lion!
Morticia: Oh, would you? Wonderful! Kitty? Here Kitty, Kitty.
Marty: They want to play games, we'll play 'em a game. A game that'll get us the loot.
Claude: Look, money isn't everything.
Marty: It's enough. Claude and I got a game we want to play. It's called Hide and Seek.
Gomez: Hide and Seek? Sounds rather mild compared to Bobbing for Crabs.