Sheldon: Why do you even want this here? It's size is completely disproportionate to it's purpose.
Rajesh: Well, seeing as it's purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on!

Sheldon: Alright, I see what's going on, this is the opening salvo in what will be an escalating series of juvenile tit-for-tat exchanges. Well titted!
Rajesh: Thank you.
Sheldon: Stand by for my upcoming tat!

Penny: Well, I'd ask you guys if you want dessert, but I know Sheldon doesn't eat dessert on Tuesdays. And even if Raj wanted something, he couldn't tell me. Howard won't order anything, but he will come up with some sort of skeevy comment involving the words pie or cheesecake. And Leonard's lactose intolerant, so he can't eat anything here without his intestines blowing up like a balloon animal.

Bernadette: I was right there in the next room while you were clicking that troll's brains out.

George Takei: A lady wants to be wooed, courted slowly.
Katee Sackhoff: How would you know?
George Takei: I read.