Bernadette: Can I get your opinion on something that happened at work today?
Amy: Of course.
Penny: Yeah, sure.
Bernadette: Okay well, I did something that will either make me look like a lovable goof or a horrible monster damned to spend eternity in Hell.
Amy: Oh I'm sure it's lovable.
Penny: I'm gonna go with monster. What do you got?
Bernadette: Well there's this lady in our office who's retiring and they were passing around one of those big cards for us to sign...
Bernadette: But no one told me she was in a horrible car accident over the weekend and what I was signing was not a retirement card but was actually a “get well” card.
Penny: (chuckles) Oh, I'm likin' my odds here.
Bernadette: So on the card, in the hospital, next to the woman who's clinging to life are the words, "Hey, Vivian. You deserve this".
Bernadette: "And at least with you gone, no one will steal my yogurt out of the fridge."
Bernadette: "LOL. Smiley face"
Amy: Oh my gosh!
Bernadette: P.S. "Good luck wherever you wind up."
Penny: (groans) Why didn't I put money on this?