Ed Wuncler III: One of you will come and get me! Or you'll be sleeping in a haunted house tonight!
Rummy: Swim, bitch!
Rummy: (Talking about text messaging) It's all just nigga technology anyway.
Wuncler III: What you call it?
Rummy: Nigga technology! Technology for niggas! Don't start tripping and sh*t calling me a racist cause I don't mean nigga in a disrespectful way. I mean it as a term for ignorant mother f*cker. Anybody of any race can be an ignorant mother f*cker!
Wuncler III: Sh*t! I'd be texting my ass off! Bitches like texting!
Granddad: What the hell is wrong with you, Huey? If your brother wants to play with Ed and Rummy, that's his business.
Huey: Granddad, Ed and Rummy are international criminals.
Riley: There he go hatin' again.
Granddad: Boy, stop hating!
Rummy: Nigga technology is anything that doesn't plug into a printer. Does that plug into a printer?
Ed III: No.
Rummy: You know why? 'Cause niggas never have anything to print.
Ed III: I sent that bitch a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
Bank Manager: For what its worth, I thought that it was a well executed robbery.
Ed III: See, an unbiased opinion.
Rummy: (points gun at bank manager) So you really believe that was a well executed robbery?
Bank Manager: I sure do!
Rummy: You wouldn't just be saying that because I have a loaded gun pointed at you, would you? Because we need honest feedback.
Bank Manager: No, sir, I would not.
(Rummy motions with his gun for bank manager to leave)
Ed III: I don't think that twenty-two minutes is that bad of a time.
Rummy: That's a whole episode of Seinfeld! It takes a whole episode of Sein-f*cking-feld to rob a bank!
Ed III: Stop being a perfectionist!
Riley: Ed, we know that we would have never gotten away with this if your dad didn't own the bank!
Rummy: In Iraq, we was in the Special-Ops.
Riley: Y'all niggas shoulda been in the Special Olympics!
Huey: Ed and Rummy kidnapped Bill Cosby... but they returned him fifteen minutes later because he was annoying.
Bill Cosby: Pull your pants up! You should be ashamed of yourself! Kicking in the doors with the boots and the guns!
Ed III: The game cheatin'.
Riley: Nigga, the game ain't cheatin'!
Ed III: Restart the game!
Riley: Why you always gotta be like that when you lose?
Rummy: Let 'im have it. It's not wise to upset a Wuncler.
Ed III: (pulls out gun and shoots PS2 until its completely destroyed) RESTART THE GAME! NOW!
Riley: We're just lucky Ed's granddad owns the cops!