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The Colbert Report: Stone Phillips
In the premiere episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen starts off the show with a segment called The Word coining the term "Truthiness". Other segments include: The Threat Down rating avian flu, basketball, babies, hurricanes and James Brady. Stephen interviews Stone Phillips, an Emmy award winning journalist and host of Dateline NBC. At the end of the interview, Stephen and Stone Phillips have a competition of gravitas.
| 10/10 (2 Votes cast) |
Episode Info
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Episode number: 1x1 Production Number: 101 Airdate: Monday October 17th, 2005 Director: Jim Hoskinson
Writer: Jay Katsir, Laura Krafft, Peter Gwinn (1), Eric Drysdale, Stephen Colbert, Michael Brumm, Frank Lesser, Rob Dubbin |
Episode Notes
Visual: Colbert Trivia: Why is Stephen so quiet about the hundreds hours of charity work he does each year? He's not doing it for the publicity, he's doing it for America.
First appearance of "The Word" and the "ThreatDown" segments.
Episode Quotes
Stephen Colbert: Tonight, why did the chicken cross the road? To cause a global pandemic. Plus, Greek letters, they're about to be attached to something even more dangerous than a fraternity paddle. And there's nothing to fear but fear itself. I'll fix that. Finally, a new television show premieres and changes the world. Open wide baby bird cause mamma's got a big fat night crawler of truth. Here comes the Colbert Report.
Stephen Colbert: On this show your voice will be heard, in the form of my voice.
Stephen Colbert: This program is dedicated to you, the heroes. And who are the heroes? The people who watch this show. Average hard-working Americans! You aren't the elites, you aren't the country club crowd. I know for a fact that my country club would never let you in!
Stephen Colbert: I don't trust books: they're all fact, no heart. That's exactly what's pulling our country apart today.
Stephen Colbert: Do you know that you have more nerve endings in your stomache than in your head? Look it up!
Stephen Colbert: Now, somebody's going to say, "I did look that up, and it's wrong." Well, mister, that's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Try looking it up in your gut. I did! And my gut tells me that's how our nervous system works.
Stephen Colbert: Now, somebody's going to say, "I did look that up, and it's wrong." Well, mister, that's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Try looking it up in your gut. I did! And my gut tells me that's how our nervous system works.
Stephen Colbert: Like any good newsman, I believe that if you aren't scared, I'm not doing my job.
Stephen Colbert: Apparently the NBA's "Toronto Raptors" were beaten last night by an Israeli basketball team. So, where's the threat? Well, the last time I checked, Toronto was in Canada. What's a Canadian team doing in our National Basketball Association?
Stephen Colbert: (To Stone Phillips) Now, if you were interviewing... Stone Phillips tonight, what would you ask him?
Stone Phillips: Wow... why is he, why is he here this evening?
Stephen Colbert: And what would the response be?
Stone Phillips: You know, Stone Phillips doesn't have an answer for that, but Stone Phillips-
Stephen Colbert: You nailed Stone Phillips then! You got him on a question he couldn't answer!
Stone Phillips: Wow... why is he, why is he here this evening?
Stephen Colbert: And what would the response be?
Stone Phillips: You know, Stone Phillips doesn't have an answer for that, but Stone Phillips-
Stephen Colbert: You nailed Stone Phillips then! You got him on a question he couldn't answer!
Stephen Colbert: Amidst the mists and fiercest frosts with barest wrists and stoutless boasts, he thrusts his fists against the posts, and still insists... he sees the ghosts.
Episode Goofs
When talking to the producer, you could see the text on teleprompter which was showing entire conversation they were having.
Cultural References
Colbert: Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause a global pandemic!
This is a play on the infamous joke "Why did the chicken cross the road?" The answer usually being "To get to the other side!", with various additions and variations having been made to this theme.
This is a play on the infamous joke "Why did the chicken cross the road?" The answer usually being "To get to the other side!", with various additions and variations having been made to this theme.
Colbert: And "There's nothing to fear but fear itself", I'll soon fix that.
This is a reference to the popular saying "There is nothing to fear but fear itself", which was based on a well-known phrase in Franklin Delano Rosevelt's first inaugural address speech " Only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
This is a reference to the popular saying "There is nothing to fear but fear itself", which was based on a well-known phrase in Franklin Delano Rosevelt's first inaugural address speech " Only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
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