Episode Quotes
Stephen Colbert: Tonight, consumer reports top 10 cars are all Japanese. The good news? America still leads in bumper stickers that say "Free Mustache Rides". Then CBS Anchor and Face The Nation host Bob Schieffer is over 65, works two jobs seven days a week, could this be the fix for social security? And you won't want to miss tonight's focus on international news, if you blink, you will. What you are about to see contains graphic violence, adult themes and scenes of full frontal truth. This is the Colbert Report.
Bob Schieffer: We have a lot of viewers, they're mostly older than I am, but we have a lot.
Stephen Colbert: The people in programming over at CBS are probably having heart attacks right now, that you said that.
Bob Schieffer: That's a great deal of the ratings on the morning news, are people who died during the night, and the television was on.