Stephen congratulates former Archbishop of Warsaw Stanis?aw Wielgus for having a Catholic church scandal that wasn't sexually related; Demeans the Congressional Democrats for taking the day off to watch the NCAA National Championship football game, and suggests they give equal treatment to the Ontario Junior League Hockey game; has the first segment of the "We Are The MEdiator" segment, picking sides during celebrity feuds and featuring Rosie O'Donnell vs. Donald Trump, Angelina Jolie vs. Madonna, and Amitabh Bachchan vs. Shahrukh Khan; and declares himself the "Hardest working man in show business" as a tribute to James Brown.