Episode Quotes
Harry: (narrating) When I was a kid, my father told me there was no such thing as monsters. My nightmares were just figments of my imagination. As I got older, I had to wonder, was he lying to me... or just wrong?
Bob: Careful! These equations are very precise and if you walk through them, I will start belting show tunes from the 16th century.
Harry: Please, anything but that.
Bob: The girl is gone?
Harry: "The girl" is Laura, and yes, while gone, rests gentle in my thoughts.
Bob: Any locker room accounting?
Harry: No.
Harry: I've seen this formula before.
Bob: I'm redesigning a pet project of mine from before my "forced retirement." I call it the Doom Box.
Harry: Oh, that's catchy. What does it do?
Bob: Well, it's a bit of a supernatural jack-in-the-box. It contains and then amplifies magical energy so that when you open it... well, pop goes the weasel.
Bob: My first Grimoire... your uncle had a copy of it. I believe you burned it.
Harry: Pretty nasty stuff in there, Bob.
Bob: Yes, well, it served him well, as did I, right up until you self-defensed him to death.
Scott Sharpe: You're a wizard, right?
Harry: I don't do parties and I don't teach magic.
Scott Sharpe: Wait. I've got monsters.
Harry: What?
Scott Sharpe: Monsters. And if you don't do anything to help, they're gonna kill me and my mom.
Bob: I fear I have put you in a bad mood, clouded your judgment about this child, made you dismiss his concerns when you would have otherwise accepted them.
Harry: You mean, take his money?
Bob: Harry, I am not being avaricious now.
Bob: See if his monsters are real. Have someone look into the records of the High Council.
Harry: And that someone would be... Melissa ?
Harry: She of the languid eyes.
Harry: When they're not rolled back in her head.
Laura Ellis: How do you do?
Melissa Perrini: Well, I do quite well.
Bob: Well, why don't you go tell the boy that, at least?
Harry: 'Cause I don't have an address.
Bob: Find some organic residue and, uh, cast a searching spell. Perhaps the boy left some snot under the diner's table.
Harry: Bob!
Bob: What? Where there's children, there's snot.
Murphy: One minute she's going about her business, the next she's dead, skinned, and giving me a headache. I'll show you the crime scene, but what's your first thought?
Harry: My first thought? My car is still booted.
Murphy: I'm looking for an Aztec killer?
Harry: I don't know what you're looking for, but I'm looking for a little financial appreciation.
Harry: Killing someone, walking around in their skin. There's a pretty short list of things that can do that. A list of one. A Skinwalker. You know the worst nightmare you ever had when you were little, the scariest thing you've ever imagined lurking in the closet or under the bed? A Skinwalker is worse.
Harry: Okay, so just because I'm a wizard doesn't mean I don't make mistakes. Which brings me to the downside of my profession. If you're a janitor and you fail, someone ends up with gum on their shoe. If you're a wizard and you fail, people can end up dead.
Harry: When my jeep got booted, I didn't realize that was going to be the best part of my day.
Whitney Timmons: Tell me where I can find the boy and I'll go away.
Harry: Sweetheart, I wish I knew.
Whitney Timmons: I can take your skin, you know. And I don't have to do it fast. One finger at a time, couple of toes. Work my way up to the good parts.
Harry: That should keep me out of trouble.
Justin Morningway: You're not helping Harry.
Colm Dresden: Are you saying you're going to help him?
Justin Morningway: I can give him insight.
Colm Dresden: And then, when he has this insight... What are you going to do with him? Are you going to use him as a secret weapon for whatever ridiculous shadow wars you and Margaret were fighting? Settle scores with the High Council?
Justin: I have no scores to settle. My relationship...
Colm Dresden: Well, the only relationship that I care about is with my son. And nothing is going to make me give him up.
Justin Morningway: You are making a serious... mistake.
Colm Dresden: Was that a threat? Because I'll do you one better. You stay away from him or I swear, on my wife's soul... I will kill you.
Harry: My father said there were no monsters. My uncle insisted monsters were real. And he should have known. Because he was one. But he did teach me one thing: the only way to deal with the things we fear is to face them, to drag them kicking and screaming out of the darkness, and destroy them.
Cultural References
Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden:
The main character of The Dresden Files is named for several of the most famous magicians of the 20th century: Harry Houdini, Harry Blackstone Sr., and David Copperfield.
Bob: It contains and then amplifies magical energy so that when you open it... well, pop goes the weasel.
Referring to the old nursery rhyme by the same name, 'Pop Goes the Weasel' dates back to the 1700's. The
original meaning of the rhyme is very different from modern connotations where 'Pop' is very messy and morbid.
Harry: Okay, you gotta listen to me, kid. These guys, whatever else you see, you gotta promise me you won't tell anyone about it. It's like Superman. It's like a secret identity thing.
Superman is the famous comic book character, one of the first superheros, who premiered in Action Comics #1 in June 1938 and was created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster. Like Harry and Scott, Superman is an orphan with extraordinary abilities.