Will: Ain't nothin' to talk about. I been waitin' for this a long time, my whole life, and ain't no one gonna stop me now. Come tomorrow, I'm outta here.
Phillip: Oh, I don't think so.
Will: Who cares what you think?! YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!!
Phillip: If you'll excuse me, I think I'll skip dinner. I don't have much of an appetite.
Geoffrey: Should I call 911?
Philip: You know, Will was doing just fine until you showed up. But now that you're back you have responsibilities to him.
Lou: Look we're still gonna take the trip.
Phil: Oh bull, BULL!! Will is not a coat that you hang in the closet then pick it up when you're ready to wear it. His life goes on. He's not supposed to be here for you, you're supposed to be here for him.
Lou: Will you get off my back! You think I want this. IT JUST HAPPENED!!!!!
Will: Hey, you no what, you ain't got to do nothing, uncle Phil. You kow, ain't like I'm still five years old, you know? Ain't like I'm be sitting every night asking my mom "when's daddy coming home," you know? Who need's 'em? Hey, he wasn't there to teach me how to shoot my first basket, but I learned it, didn't I? And I got pretty damn good at it too, didn't I, uncle Phil?
Phil: Yeah, you did.
Will: Got to do my first date without 'em, right? I learned how to ride, I learned how to shave, I learned how to fight without 'em. I had fourteen great birthdays without him; he never even sent me a damn card. THE HELL WITH HIM!! (pause) I didn't need 'em then I won't need 'em now.
Will: No, you know what, uncle Phil? I'm get through college without him, I'm get a great job without him, I'm marry me a beautiful honey and I'm having a whole bunch of kids. I'm be a better father than he ever was. And I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'cause it ain't a DAMN THING HE CAN EVER TEACH ME ABOUT HOW LOVE MY KIDS! (long pause) How come he don't want me, man?
Title: Papa's Got a Brand-New Excuse
This title is a pun on James Brown's 1965 album Papa's Got a Brand New Bag.
Will: You was up there screaming so loud I thought I was sitting next to Patti LaBelle.
Patti LaBelle (nee Patricia Louise Holt) was the leader of the LaBelle, an American disco group that melted dance music with funk and glam rock. One of their biggest hits was "Lady Marmalade." Patti LaBelle later had a successful solo career.