Blanche: For the next 24 hours I have to write down everything I do.
Sophia: And you're not ashamed to have the doctor read that smut?
Blanche: He wants to put a pacemaker in me.
Sophia: Everybody has a name for it.
Rose: You know what I do when I'm scared?
Sophia: You toss your cookie?
Rose: Besides that.
Blanche: I've been to enough funerals to know how they put makeup on then. They all look like clowns. I expect to see about 25 of them pop out at one time.
Blanche: That man wants to wrip me open from stem to stern.
Sophia: Your favorite parts.
Blanche: Where's my money old woman?
Sophia: I knew that would get her up. I was born to heal.
Blanche: I was looking down at myself having an out of body experience.
Dorothy: So it was like the mirror on your bedroom ceiling?
Sophia: Guess who's on Johnny Carson, tonight?
Sophia is referring to the last years of Johnny Carson when he was host of The Tonight Show.
Rose: I guess I'll have to go on a sensible diet, the "The St. Olaf I can't believe this is cheese diet".
This is a pun on "I can't believe it's not butter."