Alice: (to Dana regarding Tina) You're right - bisexuality is gross. I see it now.
Shane: Tell me some more.
Carmen: I cheated on you.
Carmen: I said I cheated on...
Shane: I heard you.
Helena: Mother, what are you doing here?
Peggy Peabody: Oh, what does it look like I'm doing? Taking care of my company.
Tim: Becky, the next time I see Jenny, she might be with a German Shepherd. It's... just brace yourself.
Tim: It's classic Jenny bullshit. It's not enough for her to be gay, she's gotta have a girlfriend who's a boyfriend, she's too fucking much!
Dana: I love you.
Alice: I love you, too.
Waitress: This guy has been complaining about his burger and so I went to fix it but now he wants to see you.
Kit: Well, you tell him that there is a burger joint down the street - he can go there!
Bus Stop Man: (to Bette as she arrives at the bus stop screaming) Someone chasing you or am I missing something?
Tonya: (to Alice) I could've been Mrs. Dana Fairbanks right now. I wish I could just... turn back time and do it all over again.
Tim: You know what pisses me off? You acting like such a victim. And, no, I'm not gonna forgive you. I'm not gonna wish you well. Sorry. You should've let me go. That would've been the... honourable thing to do.
Jenny: Don't talk to me about honourable, Tim. Hey, Becky, did you know that the night Tim came to say goodbye to me, he gave me a little revenge fuck?
Peggy Peabody: They're extortionists. And they've preyed on my daughter and now I'm going to punish them. They'll have their lawsuit the way I do it, in court.
Whit: Yes but in the end, you are going to be the one that pays.
Peggy Peabody: But Whit, I'm always the one who pays.
Peggy Peabody: ...and two thousand in the fourth week? This is a documentary not Finding fucking Nemo.
Jenny: That was a total disaster.
Max: You guys have your stuff, that's all. Tim's not that bad of a guy.
Max: Being with a man, I mean, that could've been your life.
Jenny: I would've killed myself if that were my life.
Max: I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to be happy.