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Craig's monologue tonight features more bits of news than one central theme. Including Barack Obama's shirtless magazine shoot and the Pulitizer's being handed out. Later, welcoming the star of the hit CBS drama, Numb3ers, ROB MORROW. Also, JEAN-MICHAEL COUSTEAU of the PBS documentary series, Ocean Adventures, is in for a bit of chat.
Craig: Today was free ice cream cone day at Ben and Jerry's. It was so hot today in L.A. that they let me have two cones. And I wore them as a bra.
Craig: And another magazine has Barack Obama appearing shirtless in it this month. I think most American's will identify with him. Most have lost their shirts.
Craig: But is it appropriate? A shirtless picture of the President? I don't know but I think I speak for everyone when I say, thank god Hillary Clinton didn't win.
Craig: (banging on the side of the camera) WAKE UP I'VE GOT NEWS!!!
Craig: The 2009 Pulitzer Prize winners have just been announced. That's an award that's given out for great achievements in Journalism and literature and music and I am very pleased and honored to announce that this show won nothing. Diddly squat.
Craig: It's true Newspapers are gonna be extinct soon. They're going the way of the dodo bird or parachute pants or Lindsay Lohan's lesbianism.
Craig: (talking about Cable News) I watched Hardball the other night and it was not what I expected.
Craig: (as Michael Caine's in the Animal Kingdom segment) If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white. I reckon that's what happened to Michael Jackson.