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Craig celebrates Cinco de Mayo (spanish for mayonnaise in the sink) in tonight's monologue. Also noting several newsworthy topics, Shia Labeouf's desire for his mother among them (see quotes). Later, GEORGE HAMILTON is on to plug his autobiography (Don't Mind If I Do). Also, JENNY LEWIS performs a song from her album, Acid Tongue.
George Hamilton's autobiography, Don't Mind If I Do, released on October 18th, 2008 but is now released in paperback.
Jenny Lewis' album, Acide Tongue, released on September 8th, 2008
Craig: Please, please, please stop cheering, oh great you have. Well that's cause the folks at home might think you were warmed up by a professional. (moves close to the camera and speaking in a feminine voice) Sometimes I liked to get warmed up by a professional. Is that so...wrong? Is that Illegal? Actually it is.
Craig: If you don't speak Spanish, Cinco de Mayo is Spanish for the mayonnaise is in the sink.
Craig: The Tony nominations came out today and once again I was snubbed for best jazz hands. You bitches!
Craig: (talking about actor Shia Labeouf) ...anyway he says in this interview that his mother is the sexiest woman he knows and he wishes he could marry her. And the interview was in Playbboy Magazine. He's really banking on no one reading the articles in that magazine.
Craig: I once mixed up she-males and trannies. Best damn night of my life.
Craig: Drinking Whiskey made me wanna fight. That's right I like to fight when I'm drinking Whiskey. But drinking Tequila made wanna fight things that weren't there. I'm serious, once when I was drinking Tequila I got into a fight with a pie.
Craig: (talking about how he plans to celebrate Cinco de Mayo)...tonight I'll go home, cover myself in refried beans, I'll beat my pinata....and then I'll have something to eat...