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Craig takes on the weekends big movie openings (Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian & Terminator: Salvation) in tonight's monologue. He also wishes his good friend Drew Carey a happy 51st birthday. Later, the scruffy MARK RUFFALO previews his new movie, The Brothers Bloom. And MINDY KALING from NBC's The Office is on. Also, THE DECEMBERISTS perform a song from their album, The Hazards of Love.
The Decemberists album, The Hazards of Love, released on March 24, 2009
The Brothers Bloom (which also stars Rachel Weisz and Adrien Brody) began limited release on May15th, 2009
Craig: By the way have you seen the new CBS logo thing, this new thing to promote all the new shows called Only CBS? I'm like, yeah. that's like what happened when I got this job, they went good news you got a late night talk show. Bad news it's only CBS.
Craig: Quiet, people will begin to suspect that we've used performance enhancing drugs on the audience...and we have.
Craig: Happy Birthday to Drew Carey, but I hope his birthday party turns out better than last years. Cause last year Drew ate the giant birthday cake but the stripper was still inside.
Craig: (to the audience after they laughed when he claimed it was really Friday) Shut the hell up! Wanna tell everyone about Santa Claus? Wanna do that now? Anything you wanna say about the tooth fairy or the easter bunny? Go right on!
Craig: (talking about the new Terminator movie) ...and Arnold isn't in this one, he's to busy Terminating the state of California.
Craig: ...yeah that's right, I strike fear in the hearts of the CBS executives. Many of whom have heard of me.