Craig: (Craig pretending to have a conversation) Craig many many people get more viewers than you, lost of people in late night, nearly everyone in late night gets more viewers than you. How can you be the king of late night? Because I have a plan. What's your plan Craig? I put out a press release.
Craig: (talking about convicted murderer Phil Spector) There is good news for Phil. When you look like the Crypt keeper you're not gonna be the prison bitch.
Craig: (talking about Olsen twins celebrating their 23rd birthday) They'll be celebrating the same as they do every year, they get a big birthday cake and don't eat it.
Craig: Now that I'm on digital I feel like a new man. I must confess I feel like a new man every night...sticking with the same one makes me bored.