Craig: (asking director Brian McAloon) What's the monolgue about tonight? Well, you're guess is as good as mine.
Craig: (talking about Matthew McConaughey) The tabloids are of course filled with pictures of Matthew and his first baby. He's so cute crawling the floor, half naked, bumping into stuff. The baby is cute too.
Craig: By the way there's a place on Hollywood Blvd. where you can see a bear playing a piano for 20 bucks. But it's not really a bear. And it's not really a piano. Look it's two guys having sex is what I'm saying. But...it's 20 bucks...and that's a bargain.
Craig: (talking about America's Got Talent having a guy that juggled balls) Actually to be fair I think American Idol this year had a couple of guys juggling balls.