Craig: Thank you everybody. Please sit down, relax, the funs over, I'm here. TV Just got crappy.
Craig: Now what the USO does is they send celebrities to perform for the troops and when they run out of celebrities they send me.
Craig: (talking about the USO rule of not making fun of the local environment) That's like inviting Bill Clinton to Hooters and saying, only touch the food Bill.
Craig: Anyway I'm Bondsteel in Kosovo and most of the troops that I met there are from California. I think it's cruel to send troops to a place that hasn't seen the sun since the 1600's.
Craig: It's true Matt got Sarah Palin's room. And when he was in there he found her Thank You letter to the base for their hospitality and you can tell it's really from her cause she wrote 3 quarters of the letter and then she quit.
Eric Idle: Victoria's secret is she's a slut.
Eric Idle: (talking about where he's from in the United Kingdom) The thing about the Jordies is we're stuck between the English and Scots so we were raped from both directions.