For the second night in a row, Jason Ritter, did not appear. He has been re-scheduled for Friday's show.
Extract (which also stars Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck) began limited release on September 4th, 2009
Craig: (talking about his studio) I know what you're thinking, Craig, isn't your studio lying dormant all day until you walk in a couple minutes before and start going, live to the nation? No, during the day this building is a laundramat.
Craig: They used to have the Drew Carey Show on ABC, good times on ABC. Now they got nothing. Now me and Drew are here. Living the dream, living the dream for a smaller paycheck.
Craig: I'm a little worried about tonight's studio audience cause I called them crystal meth addicts and they were like yay! But I can tell they aren't cause look at their fabulous teeth.
Craig: Hey you know that Diane Sawyer is replacing Charlie Gibson at the ABC World News Tonight. HMMMM, sexy curves, beautiful eyes, I'm gonna miss Charlie Gibson.
Craig: But on the America's Got Talent show, David Hasselhoff and Miss Piggy performed a duet together. I know, I was like what? I can't believe a big star like that would sing with a pig. I suppose these muppets will work with anybody.
Craig: You know Russia is a great place to get the mail order brides. I ordered one but I was really disappointed when a woman showed up at the door. I misunderstood what they meant by mail.
Craig: I'll say this about Stalin he made a great subway station. I've been to Moscow, they've got spectacular subway stations. Cause Stalin got rid of all the annoying things that clutter up the subway stations, you know, trash, graffiti, people.
Craig: You know Stalin is buried in the Kremlin. You know in the Kremlin wall and his grave is there and it's surrounded by Russians and it's not because they love him, they just wanna make sure he stays in it.