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Craig's almost gleeful tonight with the news of the scumbag California Assemblyman Mike Duvall (another of the endless family values hypocrites) having an affair with not one but two women and his getting caught on camera bragging about it. Needless to say that's the focus of tonight's monologue. Later, DANNY DEVITO, from the FX comedy series, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Craig: (talking about Obama's speech) It must have gone well cause NBC is gonna run it five nights a week.
Craig: We got a big scandal in California today, it's a doocy. It involves all the things that make this state great. Sex, power, tv cameras and spanking.
Craig: I can understand why women would find somebody like John Edwards attractive. You know he's got great hair, he's handsome in a sort of bi-sexual flight attendant sort of way.
Craig: Apparently he means thong underwear. I'm like this guy represents Orange county, the place with gorgeous beaches and he doesn't know what a thong is. Even I know what a thong is, I'm wearing one now.
Craig: So before today, much like you, I'd never heard of Mike Duvall, so I googled him today. He describes himself, he describes himself as a warrior for family values and a defender of tradition marriage. So in a good ole fashion way he's having an affair.
Craig: This is like the day Cheney shot his lawyer.