Craig: (talking about the Texas woman with the World's largest breasts) How do you get close to a woman like that? You don't!
Craig: Eyewinesses who happened to be there at the time...say that Lindsay threw a tantrum at the Tampa airport after the Superbowl. Apparently Lindsay was furious because the airport doesn't have a seperate bathroom for fake lesbians.
Craig: (talking about the wall street CEO's ) I'm very pleased that Obama has grabbed these guys by their money bags. Finally, finally some accountablity in Washington. But I'm thinking if they're gonna introduce some accountability in Washington, shouldn't Obama start with making his own people pay their own taxes?
Craig: (talking about the Obama cabinet picks) ...these people he's pick for the cabinet have went to the Willie Nelson school of paying taxes.
"Vice President Joe Biden": Hey, I'm happily married too but we all experimented. In my younger days I slept with a Navy pilot whose name you'd know if I said it.
Craig: Hey, I don't want you outing anybody on this show.
"Vice President Joe Biden": I wouldn't dream of it, if I outed Donald Rumsfeld he'd kill me...