Craig: This morning on the The View Barabra Walters made a joke about using a vibrator. Thankfully The View is on in the morning before people have eaten anything they can throw up.
Craig: I was in New York last week. The whole week I had a great time, I went on all the talk shows. I didn't do much else, it was like I was the President.
Craig: (talking about President Obama) I'm bitter cause he did Jay instead of Dave.
Craig: That's a great show, David Letterman. That's a proper late night show, he's got it all. He's got a band, real tv lights, he's got an audience that aren't drunk homeless people.
Craig: Drizzling Dudes is also the name of a movie I accidently produced and starred in.
Craig: On this show if I ask for suspenders they get me dental floss and paper clips.
Craig: The day after I was on Letterman I was on Live with Regis and Kelly. What an experience. I sat to the left of Regis, so I'm still partially deaf in my right ear.
Craig: I didn't tip him, I'm Scottish.