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Ryan makes a drastic, life-changing decision that Sandy, unlike everyone else, supports. Marissa, though not happy about his decision, turns to her new friends to help Ryan. As the Dean continues to try to ruin Ryan's future, Seth and Summer hatch a plan to expose the Dean's secret. Meanwhile, Charlotte makes Julie an offer she cannot refuse.
Seth: Do you have her cellphone number?
Summer: What? We're not going to call her. She's not a moron, just evil.
Seth: We're not going to call her, my little dim sum, we're going to text her. Or should I say, Dean Hess is.
(hands her a sidekick)
Summer: You got the bedazzled one?! Pink, too?! Wait, we can't text her an apology. We're texting her an apology?
Seth: Nope, an invitation. I got a room at the Mermaid Motel.
Summer: You mean the place where Ryan may or may not have conceived Theresa's baby and where Marissa's mom and Luke got it on?
Seth: Newport's very own den of sin.
Kirsten: Sit. You are having Eggs Benedict Gruyere avec Paté de Foie.
Sandy: Something smells ... fancy
Summer: You know, college fairs are kind of like shopping. It's all about brand recognition.
Seth: Did you know Princeton was once called the College of New Jersey.
Seth: Ryan's about a yellow slicker and a graveyard away from becoming the Gorton's fisherman.
Summer: Huh. Yeah, not getting the reference.
Sandy: I for one, I love The Tofu. Tofuna. Tofurkey. Tobagel. Cream Tocheese. Too much?
Seth: It was a valiant effort.
Seth: Hey. It's The Return of the Not-So-Ancient Mariner.