Ryan: Taylor? What are you doing tonight?
Taylor: Oh, well, I'm updating my blog. It's kind of a Felicity by way of an ISNIN, the erotic memories of a soulful college girl --
Ryan: Taylor, tonight, are you busy?
Taylor: Oh. Blog, schmog.
Ryan: Is that a yes?
Taylor: Yes! It is a yes, squared, in all caps, with an exclamation mark and a smiley faced emoticon!
Ryan: A simple yes will do.
(while discussing Taylor paying Roger to act like her boyfriend)
Ryan: Well it's ... it's a little strange.
Taylor: Well, so am I, which is why you ran away from me last night.
Ryan: No, it wasn't because you're strange.
Taylor: You don't find me strange?
Ryan: No, I do.
(on their cell phones)
Seth: Why aren't you in school?
Summer: Because I got kicked out.
Seth: Summer, what did you do?
Summer: I listened to stupid Che and his stupid plan and he sold me down the stupid river.
Seth: I knew anyone that sincere was not to be trusted.
Summer: I miss it already. I don't know what to do.
Seth: Yeah, well, I do.
Seth: If he hurt you then I'm gonna hurt him.
Summer: That's funny, Cohen. See, I knew you could cheer me up.
Seth: I'm serious. You could at least act like it's halfway feasible that I could avenge your honor.
Summer: Wait, you're serious? No. No, no.
Seth: I'm gonna go so Ryan Atwood on his ass.
Summer: Wait, Cohen, no. I don't like this.
Seth: (evily) And neither will Che.
Che: Back at the reservation, they taught us that sometimes, the weaker gazelle must be devoured for the good of the herd.
Summer: Oh, Che, just shut up, okay? Before I tie you up with hemp rope, set you on fire, and get high off of the fumes from your burning flesh.
Che: Ignoring me is not going to make me go away.
Summer: How about killing you?
Sandy: So Kirsten told me she came in yesterday to apply for the job of substitute Seth.
Ryan: Yeah, she may have.
Sandy: Well, you know if anyone is qualified we all know that its me and I'm thinking the only reason you didn't ask me is because no interview is necessary.
(after meeting Pancakes the rabbit)
Seth: What's the life span on these things?
Seth: I'm just curious ... I'm asking.
Seth: I was actually gonna borrow one from the Julie Cooper play book and wait until Che is asleep and then smother him with a pillow.
Summer: Aww, my hero.
Che: Just know that I hate myself more then you can ever hate me.
Summer: I'm capable of a lot of hating.
Seth: It's true.
Sandy: If there's anything else you need, I'm gonna be up in my room reading comic books and listening to indie rock.
Ryan: That's a good Seth.
Bullit: I know the Jews are good with numbers and lending stuff --
Sandy: Now there's a stereotype that's not even remotely offensive.
Dean: I'm afraid you're no longer a student here.
Summer: But my dad is living in Seattle with the step-monster. And Taylor Townsend is sleeping in my old bed. And Seth is moving out here so we can be together.
Dean: Ms. Roberts, you need to go home.
Summer: This is my home.