Jim receives a formal warning for his job performance. Evidently, jealous Toby reported Jim for spending too much time talking to Pam while on the job.

Michael: All right, everybody... (sees Pam in her glasses) Oh my God, Pam, those make you look so ugly! Um, Pam, in order to get hotter, you take the glasses off. You're moving in the wrong direction.

Michael: Come on, Stanley, put your little game down and join the group.
Stanley: No.
Michael: Stanley, we're havin' a little brain-
Stanley: Leave me alone, dammit.
Michael: We're havin' a little brainstorm session...
Stanley: (shouts) DID I STUTTER?

Stanley: It's like I used to tell my wife... I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong, and if you don't like it you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife, and I'll say it to my next one, too.

Creed: A lot of jazz cats are blind, but they can play the piano like nobody's business. I'd like to put the piano in front of Pam without her glasses and see what happens. I'd also like to see her topless.

Darryl: Well see, um... in the gang world, we use something called 'Fluffy Fingers.'
Michael: What is that?
Darryl: That's when somebody really gets in your face, you know, you just... start tickling them.
Michael: Really?
Darryl: Yeah, and then he starts tickling you. You know, pretty soon you're laughing and hugging... before you know it, you've forgotten the whole thing. Y'all can just go to church together. Get an ice cream cone.

Kevin: It's Michael versus Stanley, and it is the clash of the titans. In one corner, you have Michael, and he is mad. And then, in the other corner, you have Stanley, and he's mad... so that's about it.

Kelly: Okay, okay, I was watching E!, and I saw Will Smith outside the Chinese Theater, and oh my God, he looked so good...

Kelly must have seen actor Will Smith (known for his roles in films such as Independence Day, and I Am Legend) place his foot and hand prints in the cement outside Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood, which he did on December 10, 2007.

Michael: I am good person, and sometimes, good people don't get no respect. Rodney Dangerfield. Hey, I don't get no respect. No respect at all.

Michael launches into a routine made famous by American comedian Rodney Dangerfield. Dangerfield also starred in the 1986 comedy film, Back to School.

Michael: If you don't get no respect, you might be redneck.

The line "You might be a redneck" comes from a routine by famous comedian and actor, Jeff Foxworthy.

Michael: Respect is niiice. Borat.

Michael is trying to imitate the character Borat, created and performed by British actor, Sacha Baron Cohen.

Michael: What's the deal with Grape Nuts? No grapes, no nuts...

Michael is still trying to impersonate Rodney Dangerfield, but this comedic bit was actually said by Jerry Seinfeld, the American actor and comedian.

Michael: You know what don't get no respect? Airplane food. Why don't they just make the plane out of the airline food?

Michael screws up all of the jokes by other comedians in his "I don't get no respect" monologue. The original line "Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?" belongs to deadpan comedian Steven Wright.

Michael: My wife don't get no respect, some... take her, please, for example.

Michael botches comedian Henny Youngman's best known one-liner:"Take my wife—please."

Jim: You know what would energize me? If you, Pamela Morgan Beesly...
Pam: Don't, don't--
Jim: Would...
Pam: If you propose to me during a Michael meeting, I will say no.

This is the second time Jim has tricked Pam into thinking he was proposing to her. The first time was in the episode, "Chair Model."

Jim: (to Ryan) I- I- I'm sorry, is, is this because I talked to Wallace about your website? Because I really didn't mean to go over your head.

Jim is referring to a conversation he had with Ryan in the previous episode, "Night Out," when Ryan told Jim he was aware that Jim had spoken to David Wallace and criticized Dunder Mifflin Infinity, which is Ryan's pet project.