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The Rockford Files :: There's One in Every Port (03x12)
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Episode Information |
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| Title: | There's One in Every Port |
| Episode #: | 03x12 |
| Production Number: | 45026 |
| Original Airdate: | Friday January 07th, 1977 |
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Episode Summary |
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Jim goes to visit his friend Eddie Marks, whose kidneys are failing. There Jim discovers the hospital has denied Eddie medical assistance for a dialysis machine. Jim met Eddie, a confidence man, while in prison. Jim meets Eddie’s daughter Christine, who offers to front him $10,000 if he can find a high-stakes card game. She proposes that Jim win the $50,000 she needs to buy her father a dialysis machine by playing cards. Jim finds a game, and during it, masked man break into the room and steal everyone’s money! Blast Gillette, another player, figures Jim for the bird dog and threatens to punch his ticket. A note from Eddie warns Jim he “should have seen it coming.” To stay alive, Jim has to find Eddie and Christine, and then run a game on them to get Gillette’s money back.
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Guest Stars |
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Main Cast |
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Episode Notes |
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Noah Beery, Jr. (Rocky) and Joe Santos (Dennis Becker) do not appear in this episode.
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Episode Quotes |
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Answering Machine Message: Bummer! I call up with some good vibes and some positive energies and I talk to a robot?!? Forget you, man!
| Eddie: You should have stayed in the business. You’ve got a nice feel for it. Your only flaw is, you tend to go soft on the mark.
| Blast Gillette: Everybody else here is a regular player. Nobody knows where the game is. NOBODY! And I think that you are the bird dog for those guys. You led them to the game!
Jim: Mr. Gillette, if you’d just stop and think about it for a minute, you’d realize I couldn’t possibly do that!
Blast Gillette: You’re gonna give me the names of everybody on the ski team. I don’t get ‘em within the next twenty seconds, I’m gonna cancel your ticket right where you’re stand!
| Sharkey: You jammed me up, man, you know that? I got Blast screaming at me like a ten dollar trick. He says I gotta make it good – me! All I did was tell my good buddy Rockford where the action was. Now I’m responsible!
Jim: We both got suckered, Sharkey! Do you think I’m dumb enough to knock over a game full of cretins like that??
Sharkey: Sure! Because you get periodic cases of dumb!
| Jim: Just tell Blast to give me a couple of days, huh?
Sharkey: Couple of days?!? I got a couple of days, Jim. You got nothing. He’s gonna send you a message in a lead envelope, and you’re dead!
| Jim: Kenny Hollywood couldn’t work a shell game on a blind man; the Lyman brothers never stop bickering at each other.
| Jim: I’ve been following them for about twelve hours. I’ve talked to the dock master, hotel waiters, and I got a pretty good idea what’s going on. It’s a variation of the old Brooklyn Bridge game. Christina and Eddie – they’re trying to sell this guy Victor Sherman a huge oil tanker that is called the, uh, Golden Star. Christina is playing the spoiled heiress and Eddie is the crooked company shipping executive.
Judge Lyman: Who really owns it?
Jim: The Dominic Shipping Lines. That’s about the only part of it that’s really true. Anyway, the old Greek died about a year ago and his daughter inherited one ship. She’s a little odd – she’s not particularly concerned about money...
| Edward J. Marks: I’m sorry we set up Jim, but we needed the money bad.
Christina Marks: Did we?
Edward J. Marks: I had to come up with the two hundred grand. Here I was, coming on like a big shot. If I hadn’t come up with the money, he’d a gone sour! As soon as we sting him, we’ll get the money back out of escrow.
Christina Marks: I just don’t like what we did to Jim. We never hurt anybody like that before, Dad.
| Jim: (pretending to be George Greenleaf) I don’t want Christina to sell that ship, but if she is gonna sell it, she ain’t gonna sell it to nobody but me. I’m willing to pay three and a half, four million dollars, whatever it takes to get it. In short, I’m willing to best any offer you make, so I figure why should we chase each other up the money tree? I’ll just make a deal with you, and you take a hike!
| Jim: I’m willing to wait until ten o’clock. Then I’m gonna call little Chrissy and make my offer – she’s in some kind of hurry to get back to Paris, so she’ll take what I offer. You’ll end up in the wind. (Jim answers the phone.) Hold on a minute... (He returns to his conversation with Vic Sherman.) Vic, uh, I got this thing about loose talk... if you were to run out into the brush for about nine miles and whisper this to a gopher, I’d make it a personal point to bust the wheels off your wagon.
Victor Sherman: I’ll try and remember that, Buck.
Jim: You do that. Sure nice talkin’ to you. (Jim returns to the phone as Victor leaves.)
| Angel: I don’t like Buck, but I don’t disclose an overheard confidence.
Victor Sherman: Sure you do. (He opens a billfold and displays two fifties.)
| Angel: Old Buck isn’t what you’d call a very ethical businessman.
Victor Sherman: What’s he up to?
Angel: Perhaps you’ve noticed that the Golden Star is registered under the Liberian flag?
Victor Sherman: So?
Angel: Well, old Buck discovered that the Liberian government has some rather strange maritime law.
Victor Sherman: Get to it, will you?
Angel: Perhaps I could hold... (Angel eyes a promised bribe but Sherman hangs onto it.) It seems that one can have two ships sailing under one registry. It’s called dual registry.
Victor Sherman: Why?
Angel: Mr. Greenleaf has four supertankers under dual registry. That’s like having eight ships on the books as if they were four. It’s like having a ghost fleet of four ships.
Victor Sherman: You mean, there’s another ship called the Golden Star somewhere?
Angel: That’s right... He just keeps moving them around – he never allows them in the same port at the same time, naturally. He only pays taxes or reports income on the one registry. All the profits from the second registry go right into his pocket!
| Victor Sherman: (After refusing to pay Angel for information.) The world’s full of takers. I’m a taker. Greenleaf’s a taker. You’re a victim... a bug.
| Kenny Hollywood: (impersonating a Federal agent) Are you Edward J. Marks? (producing a fake identification card) Frank Rhinehart, Special Service Division, IRS.
Eddie Marks: Yes, what is it?
Kenny Hollywood: Would it be convenient for you to come with me, sir? Inspector DeMartonis would like to speak with you at the Federal Building.
Eddie Marks: I’d really rather have the inspector tell you, sir.
| Eddie Marks: I know about the dual registry.
Ray Fahasateur: (impersonating George Greenleaf) I don’t know where you get your information, Mister...Marks? But that’s absurd.
Eddie Marks: Is it? Well, suppose I go to the proper authorities with what I know, possibly involving your Captain?
Ray Fahasateur: Would it be too much trouble to ask you to lower your voice, Mr. Marks? I’d just as soon keep this discussion as private as possible.
| Eddie Marks: Give me five million dollars cash and I’ll get lost.
Ray Fahasateur: Oh, no no no... You’d turn me in, anyway. I’ll tell you what I will do. I’ll sell you as much Greenleaf International Stock as you can buy, and I’ll sell it to you at book value – a dollar a share. Now, if you look it up on the exchange you’ll see it’s currently trading at over fifty.
Eddie Marks: Why?
Ray Fahasateur: Well, if you have stock, I’m certain you’ll be very careful not to tell the authorities anything. You see, if they found out about my ghost fleet as you call it, they’d freeze the trading on Greenleaf International, and your investment would be worthless.
| Aaron: All you got left is an appointment with the bottom of the river.
| Judge Lyman: Listen, Jim... I haven’t said this to anybody in a long time. But I feel compelled to tell you that was a sweet con. You set it up in six seconds, you shot Eddie out of the trees; he never saw it coming.
| Christina Marks: I figured Dad should be alone when he finds out he’s been had. He never saw it coming.
Jim: And you did?
Christina Marks: Well, I had a hunch about it yesterday.
Jim: And you kept quiet?
Christina Marks: Well... I figured it was time for Dad to get slowed down. Now, try not to hate him, Jim. Try not to hate us both?
Jim: I don’t hate anyone. I am disappointed...
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Analysis |
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At the end of the episode, both Christina Marks and Judge Lyman comment that Eddie Marks “never saw it coming.” They’re referring to the fact that Jim’s confidence game completely suckered Eddie Marks. At the beginning of the episode, when Jim realizes Eddie isn’t sick and has used him as a bird dog to find an expensive card game, Eddie’s note to Jim ends with the phrase, “After all, you should have seen it coming.” That’s a neat bit of foreshadowing.
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Featured Songs |
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Episode Goofs |
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Cultural References |
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