Answering Machine Message: George DeBold, Malibu Spacewatch. Had three sightings last week. You see anything unusual, television reception interrupted, call 555-1313.
Gandolph Fitch: That was a good job, Rockfish. Doing what I liked, helping folks have a good time. Every now and then you show some dude the gate. Guy acts up, he gets to hold his teeth on the way to the hospital.
Gandolph Fitch: Hey, Rockfish, I got an idea.
Gandolph Fitch: Yeah.
Jim: Nothin’ doin’.
Jim: Look, Gandy, you know if I needed a hammer you’d be the guy I’d come to. But I just don’t work that way – I like to keep my business quiet.
Marcus Hayes: One of these days I’m going to have to buy you out.
Jim: Well, that’d be great, except you deal more in hot air and I deal more in cash...
Marcus Hayes: You’ve got a hair trigger, Mr. Fitch.
Gandolph Fitch: That’s right. And you’re sitting on the edge of a big disaster.
Gandolph Fitch: One thing I never got used to is taking shuck off of anybody. Now, you were going to give me a job. I need a job. So, get on with it.
Marcus Hayes: As much as I would like to, Gandy, there are some economic facts of life that have to be considered. You see, I run my business on a three percent deficit balanced against a six month actor on my accounts receivable. Now, what that means in lay terms is that I compute the cost of living index against the current glut in the job market, and then I deduct my three percent deficit and then I divide that by my accounts receivable, see?
Gandolph Fitch: You’re going to give me a job, Gabby, or your teeth is going to be accounts receivable!
Marcus Hayes: Welcome to the firm!
Marcus Hayes: Right now I work for the Musicians Union. The guy hasn’t paid his dues. You tell me what I want to hear or (waves a shotgun) you’re going to start paying yours.
Gandolph Fitch: I ain’t going to be no Tom.
Marcus Hayes: Man, for $400,000 I’d be Howard Cosell!
Marcus Hayes: Mr. Martin, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Marcus Hayes, and I would like to offer you a fortune in cash.
Finn O’Herlihy: Excuse me, but I’m playing this gig right now.
Marcus Hayes: If you would just sign this little document that I’ve prepared, I will guarantee to give you, in case, $400,000 with absolutely no risk at all, and no obligation to you.
Gandolph Fitch: Hey, Rockfish. How do you shut this dude up?
Jim: Put him to sleep.
(Gandolph Fitch gives Marcus Hayes a solid left cross. Hayes’ eyes go glassy and he falls.)
Marcus Hayes: How was I supposed to know the O’Herlihey brothers stole that $600,000 from the mob twenty years ago? No wonder the guy ran.
Jim: That’s why Finn and Pat were living under aliases. The mob never cancels anything off the books.
Marcus Hayes plans to collect 40% of a $600,000 inheritance. That works out to $240,000. Later he claims he’ll collect $400,000. It’s possible that he plans to somehow scam his way into collecting two thirds of the inheritance, but more likely an error: Gossett says the same incorrect thing several times.
The credits misspell maître d', which is short for maître d'hôtel (master of the hall) as “matre’d.” Even allowing for the common lack of special characters such as î, the word is missing an ‘i’ and has the apostrophe in the wrong place.
Gandolph Fitch last appeared in “The Hammer of C Block” which revealed that his skill at brawling kept his friends out of trouble with the other cons, who were afraid to bother him. He will appear again in “Second Chance.” Isaac Hayes, who is better known as a singer than as an actor, portrays Fitch. Hayes also provided the voice of South Park’s “Chef” until he split with the production crew over religious differences: Hayes is a Scientologist, and resented an episode of South Park that mocked the controversial religion.
last caused trouble for Jim in Foul on the First Play
, when he was still a parole officer. One of his parolees had problems with mob characters pressuring him to shave points, but as is always true with Hayes, the truth was more complex.