Homer: Celebrate your commonality. Some of us don't eat pork, some of us don't eat shellfish, but all of us love chicken.
Mulism: You can simmer it in a tajeet.
Jew: In a soup, you can boil it.
Homer: Spread the word: peace and chicken.
Jacob: What? Israel people are pushy? How about you experience a few genocides and see how laid back you are. We were perished from Spain. Thrown out of there. They allow everyone in Spain. But for us, Jews, no flamenco, get out. I'm pushy? Please. You stay there surrounded by your great enemy Canada. Try sitting here for two months, then we'll see who's pushy.
Marge: Homie, you're alive.
Homer: I am more than alive, woman. I am the chosen one, who shall unite all the faiths of the holy land. I am the messiah.
Marge: But you still have the passports right?
Homer: Oh yeah, gotta keep track of those. THE MESSIAH! has the passports.
This episode's title is adapted from 'The Greatest Story Ever Told', the 1965 Bible epic about the life of Jesus directed by George Stevens starring Charlton Heston, Max von Sydow & Dorothy McGuire