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The Simpsons: Bart the General

After defending Lisa from school bully Nelson Muntz, Bart becomes Nelson's latest target. Sick of the harassment and torment, Bart, Grampa Simpson, and Herman (a slightly deranged military antique store dealer with a missing arm) rally the town's children into fighting back against Nelson and his cronies.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x5
Production Number: 7G05
Airdate: Sunday February 04th, 1990

Guest Stars
Jo Ann HarrisJo Ann Harris
voiced Various
Pamela HaydenPamela Hayden
voiced Milhouse, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, various
Susan BluSusan Blu
voiced Weasel #1
Main Cast
Dan CastellanetaDan Castellaneta
voiced Homer Simpson, Abraham Simpson, Krusty the Klown, Barney, Willy, Sideshow Mel, Mayor Quimby, Hans Moleman, Gil, Itchy, Various
Julie KavnerJulie Kavner
voiced Marjorie "Marge" Bouvier Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Jacqueline Ingrid Bouvier, Various
Nancy CartwrightNancy Cartwright
voiced Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, Kearney, Various
Yeardley SmithYeardley Smith
voiced Lisa Simpson, Various
Harry ShearerHarry Shearer
voiced Mr. Burns, Smithers, Dr. Marvin Monroe, Ned Flanders, Seymour Skinner, Otto, Kent Brockman, Dr. Hibbert, Lenny, Rev. Lovejoy, Various


We open up with Homer finding cupcakes in the oven. Marge tells Homer he can’t have any because they are for Lisa’s teacher. Homer respects the fact that they are for Lisa’s teacher, but Bart doesn’t. He starts calling Lisa names, and among them was “Butt kisser”. ..

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Episode Notes
On Herman's model of the town, he spells the "Kwik-E-Mart" as "Quick-E-Mart."

This episode introduces the characters

Nelson Muntz


Episode Quotes
Lisa: Why don’t you go see Grandpa?
Bart: What can he do?
Lisa: He’ll give you good advice. He’s the toughest Simpson alive.
Bart: He is?
Lisa: Yeah! Remember the fight he put up when we put him in the home?

Grampa: Dear Advertisers, I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun loving, sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals, who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive. The following is a list of words I never want to hear on television again. Number one, bra. Number two, horny. Number three, family jewels.

Herman: Uh. Hello young American.
Bart: Hello sir. Uh, Mr. Herman?
Herman: Yes?
Bart: (stumbles) Did you lose your arm in the war?
Herman: My arm? Well let me put it this way. Next time your teacher tells you to keep your arm inside the bus window, you do it.
Bart: Yes sir. I will.

Bart: What’s the matter with you, soldier?
Boy: It’s my nerves sir, I just can’t stand the barking anymore.
Bart: Your nerves? (slaps the boy) I won’t have cowards in my army.
Abe: (slaps Bart on the back of his head) Sorry Bart. You can push them out of a plane, you can march them off a cliff, you can send them off to die on some god forsaken rock, but for some reason, you can’t slap 'em. Now apologize to that boy right now!

Otto: Good bye little dude. He looks so life like man.
Skinner: Yes, the school nurse did a wonderful job reconstructing his little face after the fight.
(Otto leaves)
Skinner: (to dead Bart) Goodbye son. I guess you're right, all that homework was a waste of your time.

(School bell rings)
Skinner: Uh-oh, there’s your bell. Come along now, all of you. No dawdling, now.
Nelson: I’ll get you after school, man.
Bart: But--
Skinner: O no no no, he’ll get you after school son, now hurry up, it’s time for class.

(Bart leads his "troops" in marching song)
Bart: I got a "B" in arithmetic.
Troops: I got a "B" in arithmetic.
Bart: Would've got an "A" but I was sick.
Troops: Would've got an "A" but I was sick.
Bart: We are rubber, you are glue.
Troops: We are rubber, you are glue.
Bart: It bounces off of us and sticks to you.
Troops: It bounces off of us and sticks to you.
Bart: Sound off.
Troops: One, Two.
Bart: Sound off.
Troops: Three, Four.
Bart: In English class I did the best.
Troops: In English class I did the best.
Bart: Because I cheated on the test.
Troops: Because I cheated on the test.
Bart: Sound off.
Troops: One, two.
Bart: I can't hear you!
Troops: Three, four!
Bart: We are happy, we are merry.
Troops: We are happy, we are merry.
Bart: We got a rhyming dictionary.
Troops: We got a rhyming dictionary.
Bart: Sound off.
Troops: One, two.
Bart: One more time!
Troops: Three, four.
Bart: Bring it on home now!
All: One, two, three, four. One, two...three, four!

(Lisa makes some cupcakes for her teacher)
Bart: You know, there are names for people like you.
Lisa: No, there aren't.
Bart: Teacher's pet, apple polisher, butt kisser--
Homer: Bart! You're saying "butt kisser" like it's a bad thing.
Bart: Huh?
(Homer pats his leg and Bart sits on his lap)
Homer: Well, you see, boy, it never hurts to grease the wheels a little.
Lisa: I'm not greasing the wheels, Dad. I like my teacher.
Homer: Sure, Lis. You see how it works, Bart? A cupcake here, a good grade there.
Lisa: Dad, I get good grades 'cause I'm smart and I pay attention and I study hard.
Homer: Yeah, right, Lisa. It's the three roads to success, Bart: work, brains and--
(Homer grabs one of Lisa's cupcakes)
Homer: Hmm?
Lisa: Oh, brother.

Episode Goofs
Nelson & one of his lackeys make their way through the crowd.
The lackey in the red shirt has brown skin, but when we see the close up the red-shirted one has yellow skin & the brown skinned one is wearing yellow.

This mix up of skin color happens later in the episode as well.

During exterior shots of the Simpson home in this episode, the tree house is never shown. Yet the tree house is used extensively in this episode.

Marge's necklace is briefly white

Cultural References
The Brady Bunch

Some parts of The Brady Bunch episode "A Fistful Of Reasons," appear in this episode: An older brother sticking up for his younger sister when a bully strikes; like Peter, Bart unsuccessfully attempts to fight the bully; Like Carol did with Peter, Marge advises Bart to reason with Nelson; members of the family teaching Bart fighting techniques to use if necessary.

Full Metal Jacket

The "trainees" doing pull-ups and other exercises on a jungle-gym-type structure as the sun sets in the background is a parody of a scene in the classic 1987 film.

The schoolboy kissing Lisa after a truce is declared between Bart & Nelson is a direct reference to the famous photo of a sailor kissing a nurse in New York City after World War II.

Episode References
Homer's Odyssey

Mrs Krabappel warns the children in Homer's Odyssey to not stick their arms out the window because a former student lost an arm.

When Bart asks Herman how he lost his arm, he tells Bart if your teacher tells you to keep your arm in the bus window you'd better do it, indication Herman is in fact the student Mrs. K was referring to.

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