Bart the General - Recap

We open up with Homer finding cupcakes in the oven. Marge tells Homer he can’t have any because they are for Lisa’s teacher. Homer respects the fact that they are for Lisa’s teacher, but Bart doesn’t. He starts calling Lisa names, and among them was “Butt kisser”.

Homer is displeased at Bart because he was saying butt kisser like it is a bad thing. Homer explains to Bart that it never hurts to grease the wheels a little (although Lisa claims that she made the cupcakes because she likes her teacher). During the talk Homer states “you see how it works Bart, a cupcake there, a good grade there”. Lisa says that she doesn’t get good grades because she bribes the teacher, and that she gets them because she works hard. Homer ignores that and proceeds to explain the rules of the 3 roads how success that include work, brains, and kissing up.

Bart and Lisa leave for school and Lisa gives a cupcake to Otto. After some name calling, and then some compliments, Lisa gives in and gives Bart a cupcake, but one that dropped on the floor.

On the playground, a bully takes Lisa’s cupcakes, eats the frosting, and throws the rest on the ground. Half-way through this, Bart steps in to defend Lisa. The bully stomps on the remaining cupcakes, and Bart tackles him to the ground. Before Bart can do any real damage Nelson Muntz grabs Bart, and lifts him a few inches off the ground. Bart randomly swings his fists and gives Nelson a bloody nose. Principle Skinner walks up but doesn’t realize what happened. Nelson says he’ll get Bart after school.

During the day Bart has a daydream were he pictures Nelson to be impervious to knives and bullets. Just when Bart thinks he’s going to get eaten, his friend Millhouse snaps him out of it by informing him that it’s lunchtime.

Bart says he can’t go to the principle because it would violate the Code of the School Yard. In the cafeteria most of Bart’s school mates declare him a hero. Bart doesn’t want this because he fears for his safety. Nelson walks up to Bart were he is informed that he should be at the flagpole at 3:15.

In another daydream Bart sees himself at his own funeral, and everyone is saying their goodbyes. Millhouse is glad he got the day off from school, Homer is glad that he got the day off from work, principle Skinner admits that Bart was right when he said all that homework was a waste of his time, Lisa blamed herself for his death, and Nelson gives him his last beating. Bart is pulled away from his daydream by the bell indicating that it is 3:15.

Bart doesn’t put up much of a fight, and is taken down easily, then thrown into a trashcan. Nelson informs him that he is going to do the same again tomorrow, and pushes him down the hill to the Simpson house.

Bart gets home and staggers into the house. Inside Homer and Marge see that Bart is beat up. Homer hopes he won the fight, while Marge wants Homer to see if there is anything wrong with him. In the bathroom Homer talks to Bart and dries his tears (with a blow dryer). The second Bart says “bully” Marge storms in the Bathroom and demands Bart to talk to the principle. Homer says he can’t because it would violate the Code of the Schoolyard. Marge doesn’t know what it is so Homer explains: Don’t tattle, always make fun of those who are different from you, and never say anything unless you know everyone around you feels the same way you do. Marge suggests that instead of fighting, Bart should reach an understanding with Nelson.

In the family room, Homer teaches Bart how to fight. Homer tells Bart to fight dirty. This includes telling Bart to hit him when his back is turned, throw mud in his eyes, and hit him in the family jewels.

The next day all of Homer’s advice fails, and he Bart loses. Bart is stuffed in another trashcan and rolled home. This time he meets up with Lisa, and she suggests that he talk to Grandpa (the rest of us know him as Abe Simpson) at his nursing home.

In Abe’s room, Abe writes a letter to advertisers dispelling any old people stereotypes. When he is done Bart comes in and explains his problem to Abe. After they show that Abe is a victim of bullying too, they decide Herman-An expert strategist- would be perfect to solve their problems.

In Herman’s shop, it is implied that he lost his right arm from sticking it out of a bus window. Afterwards, Herman tells Bart to get an army so they can help fight against Nelson, and his friends.

They decide that Elm Street will be perfect for their ambush point. They write a declaration of war (so that everything they do will be legal). Abe declares that Herman is completely out of his mind, so they can’t fail.

At school the next day a note reading “IF YOU HATE AND FEAR NELSON, MEET AT BART’S TREE HOUSE 1500 HRS (3 PM)” is passed around Bart’s class.

Later (after 1500 hours), Bart is late for the meeting, and is beaten up again. After he coughs his hat up, and tries to convince everyone to fight Nelson. At first, they are discouraged, but when Bart promises victory and good times, they agree to participate.

Bart trains everyone for war. After Bart slaps a boy, Abe explains that hitting your soldiers is forbidden. Bart then apologizes.

In Bart’s tree house, Herman explains that they will perform a pincers movement after Nelson leaves the Quick-E-Mart.

Bart confronts Nelson alone at first, but then calls everyone out of hiding. They bomb Nelson and his lackeys with “Happy Birthday” balloons. Homer tries to break it up, but Abe throws 3 water balloons at him, driving Homer back inside. At the end Nelson is tied up and put in a wheel-barrel.
After Nelson points out that Bart will have to release him eventually, Herman draws up a treaty stating that he won’t bother Bart anymore, but will still be a figure of menace in the neighborhood. Both sides agree, and Nelson is released.

Bart ends with stating that the only good wars are “The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy”.


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