Homer: Okay. Okay, think back to your training! (he thinks)
Trainer: Now, Homer, this may very well save your life one-day. This... Homer?
(We see Homer is playing with a Rubik’s cube)
Trainer: Please, pay attention. This button here controls the emergency override circuit. In the event of a meltdown, push this button and only this button.
Homer: Ooh, a side!
Trainer: You see which button I'm pushing?
Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Push the button. Got it. Stupid cube, this is all your fault.
Mr. Burns: So, what did you do this weekend, Smithers?
Smithers: Well, I caught up on my laundry, wrote a letter to my mother, oh, here a kicker, and I took Hercules out to be clipped.
Mr. Burns: Who the devil is Hercules?
Smithers: Oh, he's my Yorkshire terrier, sir. He's kind of tiny, so you know, it's a joke. Here's a picture of Herky. (shows a wallet sized photo of Hercules)
Mr. Burns: Ugh. Well, Smithers, don't you know how to paint the town red!
Homer: Here's good news! According to this eye-catching article, SAT scores are declining at a slower rate!
Lisa: Dad, I think this paper is a flimsy hodgepodge of pie graphs, factoids and Larry King.
Homer: Hey, this is the only paper in America that's not afraid to tell the truth, that everything is just fine.
Martin: Milhouse, I'd like to express my appreciation for Saturday. Jelly bean basket, personalized noisemakers. But the little touches are what made it enduring!
Bart: What's he talking about?
Milhouse: Uh... Hey! Look at that dog! Isn't that something!
Bart: Wow, brown!
The newspaper, U.S. of A Today, is an obvious reference to the USA Today newspaper.
In a flashback, Homer works on a Rubik's Cube
instead of listening to his supervisor.