Millhouse: Bart, I don't want you to see me cry.
Bart: Oh come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee, you cry when they're out of chocolate milk, you cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.
Lisa: Dad, what if I told you you could lose weight without dieting or lifting a finger?
Homer: I'd say you're a lying scumbag, why sweety?
Lisa: Arcording to Eternity Magazine, you can lose weight through subliminal learning. That's where an idea is subtly implanted in your head without you even knowing it.
Homer: Oh Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter.
Homer: I miss my couch.
Joe Frazier: I know how you feel, you lost the couch, I lost the heavyweight championship.
Homer: Pfft…Heavyweight Championship, there's like, three of those!
Homer: All right, Herb. I'll give you the money, but first you have to forgive me and treat me like a brother.
Homer: All right, then just give me the drinking bird.