Chalkboard: None

Homer: I've been asked to tell you that the following show is very scary, with stuff that might give your kids nightmares. You see, there are some "crybabies" out there, religious types mostly, who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to turn off your set now. Come on I dare you. Chicken!
Marge: Homer, did you just call everyone chicken?
Homer: No. I swear on this Bible!
Marge: That's not a Bible; that's a book of carpet samples!
Homer: Ooooh... Fuzzy.

Homer: Do you sell toys?
Shopkeeper: We sell forbidden objects from places men dare to trade... We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call "frogurt".
Homer: Yeah, well I need something for my son's birthday.
Shopkeeper: Ah... Perhaps this will please the gentleman...
(The shopkeeper reaches the shelf and takes the Krusty doll.)
Shopkeeper: Take this object... But beware, it carries a terrible curse.
Homer: Ooo, that's bad...
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad...
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
(Homer stares at the shopkeeper.)
Shopkeeper: That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

Homer: So then his wife comes through the door…!
Bart: So?
Homer: Did I mention that she was dead?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Well, she was! And then, she hit him in the head with a golf-club…!
Bart: And?
Homer: Don't you remember? He went golfing all the time, and it really bugged her.
Lisa: You said he went bowling!
Homer: D'oh!
Grampa: Homer! I've coughed up scarier stuff than that!
Bart: Hey, Grampa. Why don't you tell us a story? You've led an interesting life…
Grampa: That's a lie, and you know it! But I did see a lot of movies…

Zombie Flanders: Hey Simpson! I'm feeling a mite peckish. (Evilly) Mind if I chew your ear?
(Homer shoots Ned and the others gasp.)
Bart: Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!
Homer: (Surprised) He was a zombie!?

Although a newspaper headline reporting his birth is seen during the "King Homer" portion of this episode, which took place in 1933, Dick Cavett was not actually born until November 19, 1936.

The monkey's paw from Treehouse of Horror II can be seen behind the counter of the Asian merchant.