Chalkboard: I will not bring sheep to class

Laura Powers: Hello, I'd like to speak to Ms. Tinkle. First name Ivana.
Moe: Ivana Tinkle? Just a sec. (Turns to bar.) Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tinkle! Alright everybody, put down your glasses-Ivana Tinkle!

Homer: Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and… um… Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, in your own words, please tell us what happened after you and your husband were ejected from the restaurant.
Marge: We pretty much went straight home.
Hutz: Remember, Mrs. Simpson, you're still under oath.
Marge: We drove around until 3:00 in the morning looking for another open all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant.
Hutz: And when you couldn't find any?
Marge: (crying) We went fishing!
Hutz: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man who's had ALL he could eat?
Fat Juror: That could have been me!