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Golden child Lisa Simpson finds she's starting to tarnish just a little when a new girl, Allison Taylor, moves to Springfield. Allison is smart, pretty, a great saxophone player and a crack diorama builder. Meanwhile, Homer sells spilled sugar to the masses.
Chalkboard: No one is interested in my underpants
Couch: The living room floor is a shallow body of water. The Simpsons swim their way to the couch. Once on the couch, Bart removes his scuba mask and Homer dries out his ear by sticking his finger in it.
Even though the season five episode "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadassss Song" is the 100th episode in broadcast order, this episode is the 100th in production code order (as it's production code is 1F17, meaning that if FOX aired The Simpsons episode's in production code, Lisa's Rival would air after "Burns' Heir" and "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadassss Song" would have been the 101st episode).
Bart: Tomorrow morning, when Allison comes out of her house, we spray her with the hose, soaking her from head to toe, leaving us relatively dry.
Bart: Well, there's bound to be some splash back.
Lisa: Bart, her being wet won't help me to win the competition.
Bart: We could just sabotage her diorama, humiliating her in front of the students and faculty.
Bart: Leaving her primed for the most traumatic hose-soaking of her life!
Lisa: Enough with the hose!
Homer: I can't live the buttoned down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musky odor - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
Mr. Taylor: Hi, Lisa, I'm Alison's father, Professor Taylor. I've heard great things about you.
Lisa: Oh, really? I--
Mr. Taylor: Oh, don't be modest. I'm glad we have someone who can join us in our anagram game.
Alison: We take proper names and rearrange the letters to form a description of that person.
Mr. Taylor: Like, er...Oh, I don't know, uh...Alec Guinness.
Alison: Genuine class.
Mr. Taylor: Ho ho, very good. Alright, Lisa, um...Jeremy Irons.
Lisa: Uh, Jeremy's...iron.
Mr. Taylor: Mm hmm, well, that's...very good...for a first try. You know what? I have a ball. Perhaps you'd like to bounce it?