While taking another boring trip to church, Bart tries to have some fun while playing with a troll doll, which Marge takes away. After Reverend Lovejoy finishes his passage, he tells everyone that his daughter, Jessica, will be reading. Bart is spellbound by her physical appearance, and tries to think up ways to impress her. He tries acting good for her when he first tries to meet her, but she ignores him. He then decides to go back to Sunday School, where he can get closer to her. He tries to act a little more like a good person, but still gets the cold shoulder. After Sunday School, Bart pulls a prank on Groundskeeper Willie, but ends up getting caught and receiving three months detention. Jessica learns about this, which impresses her, and she invites him over for dinner. While having dinner with the Lovejoys, Bart makes a couple of wisecracks, which gets him into a lot of trouble with her parents. While walking back home, he runs into Jessica again, and she tells him it’s his bad boy attitude that woos her. Afterwards, Bart and Jessica have some fun together, and Bart brags about this to his friends. He tries to talk to Jessica at school, but she acts like she doesn't know him, resulting in a punch in the stomach by Nelson. While no one was around, Jessica explains that no one can know about them being together. Afterwards, they go skateboarding, and Bart ends up getting glued. After a series of more accidents, Bart decides that Jessica is too dangerous to be around anymore, but it’s the last straw for him when she steals money from the Church Collection Plate and blames it on him. This gets Lisa a little upset, and she decides to force Jessica into admitting the truth. When that fails, she simply accuses her, and the truth is revealed. The aftermath results in Bart being a little more aware of these problems, and Jessica is still her seductive self...Read the full recap
Chalkboard: I will not send lard through the mail
Couch: Repeat of the couch gag from "Boy Scoutz 'n the Hood" where The Simpsons' eyes reach the couch before The Simpsons do.
Lisa: Doesn't the Bible teach us "Judge not lest ye be judged," Reverend?
Reverend Lovejoy: I think it may be somewhere towards the back.
Lisa: There is someone among us with a guilty conscience. After much soul searching I decided it would be wrong of me to name names, but I urge that guilty person here, under the eyes of God, to come forward to confess and save yourself from the torment of your own personal hell.
Principal Skinner: I smelled some marijuana smoke in Vietnam!
Grampa: I was the one who cancelled Star Trek.
Dr. Hibbert: I left my Porsche keys inside Mrs. Glick!
Lisa: I'm talking about the collection money thief: only you can come forward and end this injustice!
(Lisa pauses to wait for Jessica to confess.)
Lisa: Oh, what the heck, it was Jessica Lovejoy.
(Jessica has just made Bart pull the fire alarm, and as the kids evacuate in horror, Groundskeeper Willie pushes through the crowd.)
Groundskeeper Willie: If I don't save the wee turtles, who will?
(Kicks down the door and runs in, seconds later he comes out with littler turtles nipping on him as he rolls around on the ground.)
Groundkeeper Willie: Yah! Save me from the wee turtles! They were too quick for me! Aaagh!
Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No, he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.