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Homer joins a secret society called The Stonecutters, and becomes their leader after the members find a birthmark on him that symbolizes him as The Chosen One.
Sunday January 08th, 1995
voiced Homer Simpson, Abraham Simpson, Krusty the Klown, Barney, Willy, Sideshow Mel, Mayor Quimby, Hans Moleman, Gil, Itchy, Various
voiced Marjorie "Marge" Bouvier Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Jacqueline Ingrid Bouvier, Various
voiced Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, Kearney, Various
voiced Apu, Moe, Chief Wiggum, Carl, Comic Book Guy, Dr. Nick Riviera, Prof. Frink, Cletus, Sea Captain, Kirk Van Houten, Various
voiced Mr. Burns, Smithers, Dr. Marvin Monroe, Ned Flanders, Seymour Skinner, Otto, Kent Brockman, Dr. Hibbert, Lenny, Rev. Lovejoy, Various
The plumber comes by the Simpson household to fix the leak in the basement, but apparently, can’t get the right tools. Next, while on a regular day to work, Homer notices that Lenny and Carl have been getting better things than he has. He decides to stalk them by using a dripping can of paint from their car, only to find that they are members of an ancient mystic society known as the Stonecutters. While trying to spy on them from above, the glass he is lying on shatters, making him plunge into the presence of the Stonecutters, and getting thrown out. The next day, Homer questions Lenny and Carl on how to get in, and they say the only way in is to be the son of a Stonecutter, or save the life of a Stonecutter. After an attempt to “save” Lenny’s life, Homer feels upset, until he finds out that Grandpa is a Stonecutter, and is finally initiated. After a round of rousing with his newly found friends, he desecrates the Sacred Parchment, banishing him from the Stonecutters forever. As his final punishment, he must walk home naked, dragging behind him the Stone of Shame. But when the leader sees a birthmark of a Stonecutter symbol on Homer, he makes him the Chosen One, the person to lead the Stonecutters to glory. But after getting a little too carried away with his new power, the other Stonecutters disband and create a new club, the ancient mystic Society of No Homers. In the final scene, Homer tries to re-enact the Civil War with Colobus monkeys, but it is of no use. Marge then tells him he is already part of a very exclusive club, which is the family Simpson...Read the full recap
Chalkboard: Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal
Couch: The living room is at the center of an M.C. Escher's Relativity style environment with multiple staircases and conflicting perspectives. The family enters from various directions (and dimensions) and sits.
Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
(Now with an alien) We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!
Marge: Homer a man who called himself “you know who” just invited you to a secrete “wink wink”, at the “you know what”. You’re certainly popular now that you’re a Stonecutter.
Homer: O yeah. Beer busts, bear blasts, keggers, steinhoist, AA meetings, beer night. It’s wonderful Marge. I’ve never felt so accepted in all of my life. These people look deep within my soul and assign me a number based on the order in which I joined.
Homer: I always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is. And it's me.
Marge: You're not a god, Homer.
Lisa: Remember Dad, all glory is fleeting.
Lisa: Beware the Ides of March.
Lisa: Dad I know you think you're happy now, but it's not gonna last forever!
Homer: Everything lasts forever.
Lisa: Don't you see, getting what you want all the time will ultimately leave you unfulfilled and joyless.
Homer: Remove the girl!
Lisa: Dad you're not with your Stonecutters now. There are no lackies to carry out your every...
(Bart appears, puts his hand over her mouth, salutes Homer, and then drags her away)