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The Simpsons
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| Title: | Homer the Great |
| Episode Number: | 115 |
| Season: | 6 |
| Season Episode #.: | 12 |
| Production Number: | 2F09 |
| Original Airdate: | Sunday January 08th, 1995 |
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When Homer begins to notice Lenny and Carl acting strangely, he trails them and discovers that they are members of The Stonecutters, a secret organization. Homer wants to join but he can't unless he's the son of a member. Luckily, Grampa is a Stonecutter (and a member of the Black Panthers) so Homer's membership is a shoo-in. Once on the inside, Homer discovers that the Stonecutters are a rigidly hierarchical group--he is given a number instead of a name, and must work his way up the ladder. But when Number One, the Stonecutters' leader, spies a mark on Homer's butt, he is anointed the Chosen One. As Supreme Head of the Stonecutters, Homer foolishly turns a once-great secret organization into a laughingstock. His followers rebel and start a new secret club, The Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers.
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| Chalkboard: Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal
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| The Stonecutters:
Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
(Now with an alien) We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!
| Marge: Homer a man who called himself “you know who” just invited you to a secrete “wink wink”, at the “you know what”. You’re certainly popular now that you’re a Stonecutter.
Homer: O yeah. Beer busts, bear blasts, keggers, steinhoist, AA meetings, beer night. It’s wonderful Marge. I’ve never felt so accepted in all of my life. These people look deep within my soul and assign me a number based on the order in which I joined.
| Homer: I always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is. And it's me.
Marge: You're not a god, Homer.
Lisa: Remember Dad, all glory is fleeting.
Homer: So?
Lisa: Beware the Ides of March.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Dad I know you think you're happy now, but it's not gonna last forever!
Homer: Everything lasts forever.
Lisa: Don't you see, getting what you want all the time will ultimately leave you unfulfilled and joyless.
Homer: Remove the girl!
Lisa: Dad you're not with your Stonecutters now. There are no lackies to carry out your every...
(Bart appears, puts his hand over her mouth, salutes Homer, and then drags her away)
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