Chalkboard: I will remember to take my medication

Couch: Repeat of the couch gag from "Itchy and Scratchyland" where The Simpsons are beamed onto the couch (except, in this version, the audio and visual effects match those from "Quantam Leap", not "Star Trek").

(Homer is taking his drivers test)
Patty: Did not adjust side mirror. Minus one point.
Selma: Failed to check blind spot. Minus two points.
Homer: You won't be happy until my family thinks I'm a loser, will you?
Patty: You are a loser, Homer. And we're winners. You gotta learn that.
Selma: Ooh, seat belt twisted. Minus one point.
Homer: Nagging the driver. Minus ten points, for you!
Patty: Grazed a cone. Minus five points.
Homer: Being a jerk! Minus a million points!

Man: I understand that Mr. Simpson. But according to the computer, your credit history is not good.. It says here you've been pre-declined for every major credit card. It also says you once grabbed a dog by the hind legs and pushed him around like a vacuum cleaner.
Homer: That was in the third grade!

Homer: Oh wow, I can't believe my first passenger is comedy legend Mel Brooks. You know that movie, Young Frankenstein? Scared the hell out of me!
Mel Brooks: Umm, thanks.