Chalkboard: I will not complain about the solution when I hear it

Couch: The couch and TV move aside as a police line-up char unfurls from above. The Simpsons stand in front of it.

Lisa: Everyone in Springfield had a reason to shoot Mr. Burns, even us.
(The other Simpsons groan, looking guilty)
Lisa: Bart, he broke your dog's legs. Grampa, he destroyed your home. And Dad, well, you kind of went berserk when he couldn't remember your name.
Homer: (Stands up) Berserk is right! (Calmly sits down) May I have some iced tea, please?
Bart: Aren't we forgetting someone? (Looks at Lisa) Sister Suspect?
Lisa: (Chuckles nervously) You know, I was just getting to me. Because of Mr. Burns, they canceled my jazz program, and my friend Tito Puente got fired! But I could never shoot someone.
Bart: Could so.
Lisa: Could not.
Bart: Could so.
Lisa: Could not.
Bart: Could so!
Lisa: Could not!
Homer: Kids, kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers.
Marge: The police have already found a lead suspect; it's Mr. Smithers.
(The other Simpsons agree at once)
Grampa: Yeah! Smithers did it! Case closed. Now where's my hat? I'm going to use the outhouse.
(Grampa grabs his hat and leaves the room)
Lisa: We don't have an outhouse.
Homer: (Gasps) My tool shed! Oh, Dad!
(Homer chases after Grampa)

(The police barge into the Simpson home)
Lisa: Hey! Chief Wiggum! What's going on? What are you doing?
Chief Wiggum: Sorry, kid. We found Simpson DNA on Mr. Burns' suit, and your father was identified by the old man himself.
(The Simpsons all gasp)
Bart: (Scoffing) DNA, positive ID. Those won't hold up in any court. Run, Dad!
(Bart pushes Homer towards the door)
Lou: (Holds up a gun) Hey, Chief! Look what I found underneath Homer Simpson's car seat.
(Lou and Eddie check the gun for fingerprints)
Homer: I swear! I've never seen that gun before!
Eddie: Oh, really? Then why are your fingerprints on it, sir?
(Eddie holds up Homer's glass, which has the same fingerprints as the gun)
Homer: Aaah!
Chief Wiggum: (Pulls out a bullet from the gun) This bullet matches the one we took out of Burns! Homer Simpson, you're under arrest for attempted murder.
(Chief Wiggum handcuffs Homer)
Homer: D'oh!
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, that's what they all say. They all say, "D'oh."

Lisa: (holding chart of suspects) Mr. Burns hurt all these people financially. Nightclub owner Moe Szyslak: his bar was closed because of Burns' negligence. Liquor connoisseur Barney Gumbel: when Moe's closed, Barney lost his only means of support - sucking coins from the Love Tester machine.
Eddie: That's a real good way to get sick.
Lisa: (continues) Dedicated educator Principal Seymour Skinner: his school lost millions when Burns pirated it's oil well. And grounds tender. Groundskeeper Willie: he lost his job and his dream of owning a crystal slop bucket.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, what about that jazz teacher that got laid off? You know, uh, Mr. Samba? Senor Mambo? What was it?
Lisa: Tito Puente?
Chief Wiggum: Yeah.
Lisa: Well, he DID vow revenge, heh heh… But I can't see him doing something illegal; he's in show business! He's a celebrit-
Chief Wiggum: Let's roll, boys!