Chalkboard: I am not a lean mean spitting machine

Couch: The Simpsons are in go-karts and wearing fezzes, a la The Shriners. They drive around in an 8-formation before lining up, parking, and honking their horns simultaneously.

Reverend Lovejoy: (to the kids in Sunday school) I know one of you is responsible for this, so repeat after me: "If I withold the truth, may I go straight to Hell, where I will eat naught but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola!
Ralph: (scared) Where fiery demons will punch me in the back...
Bart: (bored) ...where my soul will be chopped into confetti and strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers...
Milhouse: (slightly nervous) ...where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds."
(outside, a crow stares at Milhouse)
Crow: (shreaks)
Milhouse: Bart did it! That Bart, right there!

Moe: No c'mon, I need a name that says "friendly all-American cooking."
Homer: How about Chairman Moe's Magic Wok?
Barney: I like it!
Moe: Nah, I want something that says people can have a nice relaxing time.
Homer: I got it! Madman Moe's Pressure Cooker!
Barney: I like it!
Moe: Hey, how about Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag?
Barney: I hate it.

Dr. Hibbert: All right, where would you kids like to eat tonight?
Kid #1: The Spaghetti Laboratory!
Kid #2: Face Stuffers!
Kid #3: Professor P. J. Cornucopia's Fantastic Foodmagorium and Great American Steakery!
Dr. Hibbert: How about this place?..."Moe's"