<-- Previous EpisodeNext Episode -->
While Marge and Lisa go to the beach to clean rocks that have been splattered with oil after a supertanker accident, Bart is sentenced to doing housework for a creepy old woman in her mansion--which turns out to be a burlesque club, featuring gambling, drinking, and risque entertainment.
Couch: The whole couch scene is a parody of the cover of The Beatles' album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, featuring a large crowd of regulars, several objects associated with the show (such as doughnuts, radioactive waste, Jebediah Springfield's head, Blinky the three-eyed fish, etc), wax statues of the Simpsons as they were on The Tracy Ullman Show, and the family (as they are now) standing in front of the couch, front and center, dressed in Sgt Pepper regalia. Homer, spoofing the back cover of the album, turns to look at the crowded scene behind him. The last chord to the Beatles song, "A Day in the Life" plays instead of the traditional Simpsons music.
Marge: Springfield doesn't want places like this.
Belle: I think I know what Springfield wants, sugar.
Marge: Oh? I've lived in this town for thirty-seven years.
Belle: I've lived here fifty-two years.
Marge: I'm third generation.
Marge: Get out of my town!
Marge: Now the cat needs his medication...
Homer: No problem...
Marge: ... every morning and the furnace has been putting off...
Homer: Can do. Right. Uh-huh.
Marge: ... a lot of carbon monoxide, so keep the window open.
Homer: Gotcha. Cat in the furnace.
Marge: Ah, you know, I think we'll take Maggie with us.
Marge: I'm here to share my moral outrage. But this time it's not about that giant inflatable "Dos Equis" bottle. It's about a certain house in our town.
Moe: Yeah, well what's wrong with this house? Is it the plumbing?
Marge: No. It's a house of ill fame. A house of loose ethics.
Kent Brockman: Is there a building code violation? A drainage issue? A surveying error?
Marge: (Getting angry) The house is perfectly fine!
Chief Wiggum: Well, then quit bad-mouthing the house!
Otto: Yeah, leave the house alone!
The Spring in Springfield
Homer: You could close down Moe's,
Or the Kwik-E-Mart,
And nobody would care,
But the heart and soul
Of Springfield's in
our Maison Derriere!
(Homer holds the "ere" as the music starts...)
Belle: We're the sauce on your steak,
We're the cheese in your cake,
We put the spring in Springfield.
Dancing Girl 1: We're the lace on the nightgown,
Dancing Girl 2: The point after touchdown,
Belle and Dancing Girls: Yes we put the spring in Springfield.
Belle (to Ned and Maude): We're that little extra spice
That makes existence extra-nice,
Belle (to Rev. Lovejoy and Helen): A giddy little thrill
At a reasonable price.
Rev. Lovejoy: Our only major quarrel's
With your total lack of morals.
Dancing Girls 3 & 4: Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad,
Dancing Girls 1, 3 & 4: They seem to entertain your dad!
Belle and Dancing Girls: The gin in your martini,
The clams on your linguine,
Yes we keep the
(Belle flicks Bumblebee Man's antenna)
Chief Wiggum, Krusty & Skinner: We remember our first visit,
Mayor Quimby: The service was exquisite!
Mrs. Quimby: Why Joseph, I had no idea!
Mayor Quimby: Come on now, you were working here!
Grampa and Jasper: Without it we'd have had no fun,
Since March of 1961!
Bart: To shut it down now would be twisted,
Jimbo, Dolph & Kearney: We just heard this place existed!
Dancing Girls: We're the highlights in your hairdo,
Apu: The extra arms on Vishnu,
Dancing Girls: So don't take the
(Barney opens a jack-in-the-box)
Mob: We won't take the
(Sideshow Mel blows on his slide-whistle)
Everyone: Yes let's keep the
(Moe crashes two garbage can lids together)