Recap
While Homer reads a newspaper, he discovers an article missing, and tries to find out what it was about. While he was trying to have a conversation with Lenny, Marge vacuums over the phone line, disconnecting after learning the topic of the conversation. Later, Homer finds Marge smoking, and then he goes outside to smell the air, which smelled of chili. He finds out about the Chili Festival, which Marge objects to, since Homer got very drunk last year at the festival. She allows him to go, but only if he promises to not drink while he's there. Once they arrive, Homer goes to the chili booths to try out the various types of chili. After getting very disappointed by chili made by Moe, Ned, etc. he comes upon the chili of Chief Wiggum, whose chili with one touch by the tip of Homer's tongue, got it burning and sends Homer screaming. While trying to put the burning sensation out with beer, he gets caught by Marge, who gets infuriated. After that ordeal, he starts eating wax from a candle, and heads back to chief Wiggum to eat his chili again, which he does with no problem at all. After that, Homer starts feeling a little pain around the stomach, and later followed by hallucinations. He runs off into a strange fantasy world, where he finds a tortoise showing him a way to sanity. After following the tortoise, he meets a space coyote, who tells him to find his soul mate in order to become complete. Afterwards, he wakes up to find he is in Kent Brockman's golf course, and heads home. He finds Marge, but she is very angry with him and tells him she is not his soul mate. He decides to travel around the town to search, and eventually stumbles upon the lighthouse, which is run by someone named Earl. While running up the steps to be "reunited" with his long lost soul mate, he discovers that Earl is actually a robot. Upset, he looks out the window and finds a ship, and takes out the light to make the ship crash into the lighthouse. Marge then discovers him, and explains how she found him, which proves that she knows all about Homer. She also explains that their differences are only skin-deep, but their common grounds go right down to the bone. While being reunited, they remember that the ship is heading towards them, and they use a new light to steer the ship away. The ship then crashes into land, where many people rush over and take the "precious cargo"...
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Episode Quotes
Homer: Hey, Barney! Soul mate! Let me buy you a beer.
Barney: Okay, but I'm not your soul mate. I'm really more of a chum.
Homer: Well, what about you, Lenny?
Lenny: I'm a crony.
Homer: Carl?
Carl: I'd say acquaintance.
(The camera pans to other patrons.)
Larry: Colleague.
Sam: Sympathizer.
Bumblebee Man: Compadre.
Kearney: Associate.
Dr. Hibbert: Contemporary.
Moe: I'm a well-wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific harm.
Helen Lovejoy: Howdy, howdy, Marge and Hom- oh my mistake, Homer's not even with you! Probably just knocking back a few "refreshments".
Marge: Thank you for your concern Helen. Homer isn't drinking today.
Helen Lovejoy: Oh, I think it's lovely that he said that, and that you believed him!
Reverend Lovejoy: Now, Helen, let us not glory in Homer's binge-drinking. There but for the grace of God goes Marge herself.
Homer: But how did you find me?
Marge: Well, I was sure you'd be on foot, because you always say public transportation is for losers. And I was sure you'd head west, because Springfield slopes down that way. And then, I saw the lighthouse, and I remembered how you love blinking lights. Like the one on the waffle iron.
Homer: Or that little guy on the "Don't Walk" sign.
(Homer goes to eat Ned Flanders' five-alarm chili.)
Homer: Five-alarm chili, eh? (Takes a bite) One...two...Hey, what's the big idea?
Ned: Oh, I admit it. It's only two alarm, two and a half, tops! I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids.
Todd: Daddy, are you going to jail?
Ned: We'll see, son. We'll see.