Burns: Tell me, Simpson, if an opportunity arose for taking a small short-cut, you wouldn't be averse to taking it, would you?
Homer: Hmm, not as such.
Burns: Neither would I. If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it. Why should the race always be to the swift, or the Jumble to the quick-witted? Should they be allowed to win merely because of the gifts God gave them? Well I say, 'Cheating is the gift man gives himself.'
Homer: Mr. Burns, I insist that we cheat!
Burns: We need some excitement around here!
Smithers: Chinese checkers or domestic, sir?
Burns: No, no. Something fun. Something the men will enjoy... like a safety drill! But what kind? Meltdown alert? Mad dog drill? Blimp attack? Ah... I think a good old-fashioned fire drill today.
Burns: Is it supposed to take this long? What's a good time for a mass evacuation of the entire plant?
Smithers: Forty five seconds.
Burns: And what's our time so far?
Smithers: I don't know, sir. This stopwatch only goes up to fifteen minutes.
Burns: Damnation! What kind of slow coaches do I have working for me?