Chalkboard: A fire drill does not demand a fire

Couch: Repeat of the couch gag from "Mountain of Madness" where The Simpsons find Grampa sleeping on the couch (which is pulled out into a bed) and fold him up into the couch.

(Bart searches for Santa's Little Helper.)
Reverend Lovejoy: Mmm, yes I remember Satan's Little Helper littering the rectory with his dirt, bitting me in the apse.
Agnes Skinner: He unholied the holy water!
Bart: That's him all right. I'll be happy to take him off your hands.
Reverend Lovejoy: Oh, I'm afraid that's impossible, Bart. He's no longer among us.
Bart: (Gasps) You didn't crucify him?
Reverend Lovejoy: (Laughs) No. He's safely with one of our parishioners. I'll give you his address if you'll like.
Agnes Skinner: And then buy somethin' or get out! Angel.

Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back, or you can go out there and find your dog.

Groundskeeper Willie: Yeah I bought your little mutt...And I 'ate him. I 'ate his little face, I 'ate his guts, and I 'ate the way he's always barking. So I geeeve him to the church
Bart: Oh, you hate him so you gave him to the church?
Groundskeeper Willie: Aye. I also 'ate the mess he left on the rug. You heard me!

Bart: He's trained to do all sorts of stuff. He can herd sheep and perform CPR.
Marge: (reads from the manual) Some call it the dog that never sleeps, though it actually does -- while jogging!
Homer: Gee, that dog has more education than I do!